Posts by RAF

27

Should I mention my marital rape to my 18-yr-old son?

by J-ex-W in

first---thank you, lady lee, for providing the articles on rape.

the one on marital rape is especially catching my eye now.

now, the question, and i welcome any serious answers: my boys are all seriously alienated from me by my abusive jw ex-husband, who has physical custody (because of my physical health limitations).

RAF

Your story is not very clear to me.

But from what I read:

Take all the critics by now … (I know it’s hard – but it’s a mental thing you don’t really have the choice anyway) but the problem/responsibility is that as parents, what is important are the kids (way before ourselves).

More you defend yourself less they would like to hear (if they suffer too from the situation at the moment). The main problem in between you and your sons is maybe not only their father’s influence only. When you talk with them the main subject should be them and only them, they can’t be supporters or actors to relieve your pain (they are kids) wait for that.

I could be wrong but (try to think about it in taking care) maybe they are not really mad at you because you left daddy, they could be mad because they might think that you left them somehow – you throw the babys with the bath water : Are they happy with their father? Do they feel unprotected/unsupported with only him having the custody? … Maybe it’s not about your story with him, maybe it’s about your story with them and the fact that they feel left alone. It’s a big deal for a kids.

Depending on their age (I don’t know how old is the last one) they will be able to get the point or not about what happened in between you and there father (sooner or later) …

The hardest (for them and for you) is the feeling of being left in a situation that you don’t want to be and can’t fight against it … (you know the why but they don’t know exactly and it wouldn’t really change the problem relatively to them). They are putting you in the same situation. (I mean they probably suffer as much as you do – they feel or felt abandoned).

I don't know for real : it's just a suggestion but Maybe this is the real trouble you have to deal with your kids.

Get support for yourself (any kind from professionals and friends) to be able to be strong and there for them when they'll need you.

Take care …
Wish a lot of support.

66

So little knowledge

by grissom6471 in

jw
friends

so many people here and so little knowledge of jehovah's witnesses.

there are still people here associating jehovah's witnesses with the watchtower society when that is not the case.

so many people look to the past not the future.

RAF

interesting ... I mean :

10

Job Search

by mrsjones5 in

jw
friends

remember when i told you all that i was looking for a job?

well things are moving along.

the company that i sent my resume called me monday and i got to speak to the hr person handling this job yesterday.

RAF

Best wishes !!!

93

It must be "Global Warming"

by Warlock in

snow in malibu yesterday.

.

this morning i had to scrape the ice off my windshield and back window.. on the way to work i saw many a frozen front lawn and most cars were covered with ice like mine.. all on the outskirts of los angeles.. it must be "global warming".. warlock.

RAF

Why is it so unbelievable that the global warming is coming from human activities? Why?
Actually every scientific studies proves that we actually have a real problem anyway that we will have to face because we won’t be able to stop it but that we can only take care to not having the worse happening too quickly. (working on it is worthy - just not taking care about it is a real danger)

The problem with public studies (promoted by govs) is that they are made to make people feel comfortable. The purpose is to make sure you will not worrying (and asking the gov to work on it) about things which any would have to worry about. Why? Because govs are not ready to fight against those things, they have another agenda (their popularity, their investments … Their fortunate friends – NOT US – they take the easy road and they will be able to avoid being those who’s going to suffer from the troubles – so why would they care? They won't going to jail because of that anyway ... and the supporters are also responsible by ignorance sure but still responsible by the fact they should have care about it and not buy anything just because public studies credited by govs stated something). It's always worthy to check both sides when 2 scientists do not state the same things.

We should care and have scientists working on it (full time and for good) to tell us what we are supposed to do, what we are supposed to support (economy / habbits) ...

Anyway ... Time will tell anyway, but when it's too late it's too late.

14

Drawing ConclusionsWhy we Believed what we Believed

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

drawing conclusionswhy we believed what we believedinspired by another thread questioning why we believed in the garbage for so long,.

i have drawn some conclusions about this issue.. a vacuum societyas a captive of jehovahs witnesses, the beliefs taught did have a ring of truth .

around it and therefore anything that stated was unquestionably accepted.

RAF

fullofdoubtsnow : I had that hope in front of me.

right !

(fear +) hope

14

Drawing ConclusionsWhy we Believed what we Believed

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

drawing conclusionswhy we believed what we believedinspired by another thread questioning why we believed in the garbage for so long,.

i have drawn some conclusions about this issue.. a vacuum societyas a captive of jehovahs witnesses, the beliefs taught did have a ring of truth .

around it and therefore anything that stated was unquestionably accepted.

RAF

the JW system is related to fear ... (fear of God not fear of Satan - which is funy when you think about it)
My mother got in but it was a before 75 (emergency) around 70 a guess I was about 3 or 4

Fear is the best motive to make people reacting without really thinking first ...
and the JW in some ways was those who was answering lots of question that other religions didn't seemed to answer to (regarding to the bible) ... this have always be my mother argument for living adventist and even why she left the catholics to become adventiste - they knew better (they not her).

So it's all about the hability of the WTBS to get you in their basket They used every technics to get there (you can be the smartest, but if you don't check for real and just accept a theorie in emergency by fear - you can be fooled anyway).

37

Letter from my mom. What do you think of my response?

by reneeisorym in

jw
friends

i invited my mom two months ago to my wedding.

she never responded and then today i get this.

what do you think of my reply?

RAF

I like your letter,

It's simple ... straight about the why ... and still full of love for your parents.

9

How long is hate good for you?

by Snoozy in

jw
friends

in reading richie's post it got me to wondering..how long is hate healthy?.

i always heard you should hate what someone does to you rather than hate the person.in all my watching and learning years i have reconciled myself to the fact that if you continue to have hate in your heart for someone you were only hurting yourself.

usually i have found when someone carries a hate for someone for many years..that person is still controlling you..you won't ever truly be happy.. also in my many years on this planet.... so i thought " i wonder how others feel"?.

RAF

I have reconciled myself to the fact that if you continue to have hate in your heart for someone you were only hurting yourself

I've hated my father for not showing us a bit of love, I've hated my father for the way he disrespected my mother in many, many, many ways ... I just couldn't stop hating this guy ... and one day about almost year ago I've called my little sister (as it was a long time we haven't talked together, she told me about his ways to ignore her, crying saying that she is just waiting for our grand mother to dies to meet him at her funeral to tell him what she thinks about him ... that's when I realise how far this was going ... I've wondered about myself : what if I can talk to him what would I say? ... I just realised that he deserved nothing special since he don't care about us ... He is just what he is, a man who do not care about others even his kids ... and I don't want to suffer anymore about that ! ... our hate was our pain not his.

25

WHY ?

by RAF in

when it comes to believe its all about what is believable to you.

so this is not a question for believers in god, i mean if you are a believers (you think that there is a god) or an agnostic (you think that there might be something very unexplainable yet) the one i want to get into it by giving there reasons are atheists.. it feels comfortable to just follow what scientists are saying (it is supportive because they are able to explain some science) but by now about evolution its only about concept related to science to explain a possibility, but there is no scientific proof in facts.. why is it more believable to you that we are the result of a big bang which would actually comes out of something very tiny full of development codes?

i guess from that, that it would still mean that there is something bigger than just that (like believers or agnostic do think).. so why are you atheist?

RAF

Heathen ...

No this have actually nothing to do with the topic itself

I wanted to take a simple example to show why we shouldn't get into too much details when we want get the point on something - here for instance why poverty. it was to explain why looking at thing conceptually first helps to understand the bases of everything.

It's actually way more easy ... to understand or analysing anything from it bases.

35

What's the purpose of a one day assembly?

by oppgirl63 in

jw
friends

my jw roommate has a one day assembly this coming sunday.

what do they usually do at one day assemblies that they couldn't just do at their regular meeting?

RAF

I don't know what for JW's
But it have an impact to make the JW's feel that they are much more than what they see in the KH (it helps to believe you are not only a few to believe)