What a hard situation. You love your sister so much, but feel helpless to assist her. How strong is she, as in, if he tells her NOT to see you anymore, would she listen to him or stand up to him? You might want to just 'be there for her'. She probably senses the tension between you and him, so it may make it harder on her if you say or do anything.
wantstoleave
JoinedPosts by wantstoleave
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Need help on how to deal with BIL...
by cognac inhe's a complete a$$ to my sister.
it's sometimes very shocking how much of a jerk he is.
when i say something, i get, "be careful cognac" and he's told me before that there marriage is none of my business.
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Have you Overcome Guilt & Fear Since Exiting Jehovah's Witnesses ?
by flipper inminimus had a great thread recently asking if any who were witnesses felt guilt as a jehovah's witness.
thought i would build on that a little dealing with how you have moved on after being a jehovah's witness ?.
one definition of guilt in the american heritage dictionary is : " self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing ".
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wantstoleave
I fear the tribulation and armageddon...always have, even when at my most zealous! I remember being a 3 or 4yr old, waking at night to a storm, and thinking it was armageddon. Im sorry, but kids that age should NOT have to fear like that. And now at almost 30, I still fear it. I HATE thinking Ill never be a good enough witness, will never measure up. I feel on the fence and its limbo at its worst. Am I in or am I out? I wish I could answer that myself....then I wouldnt feel so bad.
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Ex jw wife
by sspo ini find it interesting that i posted about 16 days ago concerning whether i should write a letter and.
allow my ex wife to be free and marry.. saturday night she called out of the blue ( maybe there is a god upthere looking down) after 3 years of not talking to her and she wants to meets.. we met last night and after small talk about how we are both doing and family stuff, she asked me if i would write a letter.
freeing her or releasing her from our marriage without admitting adultery, since i don't believe in the bible anymore,.
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wantstoleave
Coffee, your situation sounds like what mine could be like. My husband left me over a year ago, went to another country. Ive not heard from him since. He's still 'in the truth' however, playing the wholesome 'woe is me' card. Ive been faithful, yet we will be legally divorced next month - not scripturally. I know he's been dating.......and I know he will let others assume I have given him scriptural grounds, but I havent. How did you overcome your ex doing that?
Gosh, what a pickle the Org. puts everyone in.
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Im new....posting hesitantly :)
by wantstoleave inhi everyone...i have a confession to make, i actually joined 5mths ago, but never came back to the site.
ive had doubt for a few years now.. my parents came into the truth when i was a toddler.
no other family members are witnesses.
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wantstoleave
Cheers Jook...I just keep hitting 'active topics' and its keeping me up to date so far...lol
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Help - am I on the fence??
by wantstoleave inplease bear with me, newbie here :).
i have had doubts for a few years now.
i was raised in the truth, baptised at 16, married at 24...the usual stuff.
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wantstoleave
Wow thanks :)
I could've gone with the slow fade had my husband not walked out...we hadnt been to meetings in about 4yrs. Then when he left, my dad insisted on calling the elders and getting them involved. Yes they were loving and helpful, but it made me feel like I had to 'repay' them and attend meetings. Funnily enough, turned out my husband had left the country and in his new country started attending meetings! Go figure. How hypocritical is that? Anyway, I kept up the meetings for about 6mths solidly. Everyone kept saying Jehovah was blessing me. The last 6mths Ive faded again. I did go to 1 day of the convention however, to appease my mum.
My parents are not the type to go out. My dad, though chronically ill, is very zealous. He grew up catholic and has been a witness since he was about 24. He has great hopes in the new system, because he has been an unwell man for so long....and the hope of a perfect life keeps him going. I love my parents dearly. I dont want to see them hurt. I know how my brother leaving has hurt them and continues to hurt them. I guess Ive always done things to make others happy. Ive never done anything for ME. Now is no different. Im still thinking of others *sigh*
And Jook, dont worry...havent been witnessing in close to a year :)
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is my baptisum as a minor vaild?
by highdose inas a young minor, barely into my teens i was in a congo that had extreme peer pressure to get baptized.
in fact you were seen as a bad person if you didn't, and everyone else my age was, the threat was that if you were the last to get baptized of your generation then you would be seen as unspiritual.. this and some other things have troubled me since:.
when i came to be baptized i was suffering from an illness that greatly affected my concentration.. when it came to the assembly and i had to stand and answer those two questions i was shaking so much i didn't actauly say anything, in fact my mouth wouldn't open.. i am totaly sure that if i had waited until age 30 to get baptized as jesus did, i never would have got baptized at all.. so my question is: was my baptisum actualy vaild?
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wantstoleave
I've heard of many people in recent times writing to the society and having their baptisms revoked. They cite things such as you mentioned, invalidity due to age, or pressure from parents. Of those that I've heard do it, all have been reversed and they are no longer classed as ever having been baptised. It might be worth a try?
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my story,my sins and their consequences
by highdose inwith renia now gone i feel more confident to tell my story without being belittled.
i don't want to drone on and on, as having read alot of the experiances on here i find i have alot in comman with everyone.
so i thought i'd just give a short run down of the reasons why i've ended up here.
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wantstoleave
Wow.....your story sounds like mine in some ways, but I wasnt abused by anyone. Except emotional and mental abuse from my ex husband. Glad to meet you.....xox
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Thoughts on NOT dating
by wantstoleave injust throwing some thoughts out there.
wondering if anyone feels the same as i do.
you know, being brought up not being allowed to date until you were 'of marrying age'.
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wantstoleave
Just throwing some thoughts out there. Wondering if anyone feels the same as I do. You know, being brought up not being allowed to date until you were 'of marrying age'. Not being allowed to look at the opposite sex. Not knowing how to act around the opposite sex because you were taught it was wrong to be with them unless you were getting married. If caught talking to the opposite sex, everyone assumed you were dating, and from that point on even though only friends, you werent allowed to be seen together.
I look back on how I was brought up and my parents were overly strict. I remember one time writing on my school diary 'I love.....' and my parents hauling me out of bed and yelling and screaming at me :( I was 13. My best friend at the time, a witness, had written the same thing. I wanted to be like her, to have that freedom of expression. Her parents let her think about boys etc. They joked around about it with her. Mine were opposite. I wasnt allowed to look at boys, or say they were good looking or anything.
My friend was married by 18. I hear she's still happily married 11yrs later. Me, well I never knew how to act around boys. I married at 24, rather late in the 'witness scheme of things'. Until then I had to put up with the 'why arent you married' and 'whats wrong with you' or 'you do like men dont you?' type questions. Also the 'you better find a boyfriend soon or you'll be past your used by date'.
Only the other day I said to my mum that I think the witness way of not letting younger ones date can actually hinder them when they do want to get married. If only young ones were allowed to get to know the opposite sex, hang out with them, do the typical teenage 'dating' thing, without thinking that it HAS to lead to marriage. The whole witness ideal of dating only to marry annoys me. Its such pressure.
My parents wouldnt even let me hold my then fiances hand. We werent allowed to sit next to each other at meetings. My dad would say 'theres plenty of time for that once you're married'. In hindsight, I barely knew the man....and what followed was a rocky few years after that. Not all witness marriages end up like mine (divorce), but I do see alot of unhappy young married ones.
Whats your experience? View? Thoughts?
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Any Aussies about?
by OlderTom inhow about dropping a line on the main board or e-mailing me.
we are organising another bbq and would like to invite you along.. oldertom.
pretty soon we'll have to organise warwick farm race cource for our assemblies.
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wantstoleave
You know now that there arent that many meetings a week? Down to 1 midweek one and the usual Sunday one. They say its to move with the times, people lead busier lives etc. I think its because numbers are down and hardly anyone was turning up for the bookstudy group anymore.
You on fb? Maybe I can look you up...
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The toll on women..
by freedomisntfree inthis has probably already been discussed to some degree on here.
but i think its probably a commonly noticed thing that jehovahs witness women and becoming more and more unstable mentally and physically as a whole.
they seem to suffer from a bizzarely high percentage of scent sensitivities, chronis fatigue syndrome and the like.are they making it up for attention?
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wantstoleave
Oh man, dont get me started on being single and not wanted...lol. There is so much pressure as a JW to marry young. And if you're not married by 18, something is 'wrong' with you. I remember being 17 and people asking me why I didnt have a boyfriend and if I didnt hurry up, Id be 'left on the shelf' and 'past my used by date'. Extreme pressure!
Also, higher education is still looked down upon. I was an intelligent girl, but my parents would not let me go to University. My teachers tried to get me to, but I said no, at that time I agreed with my parents. Eventually I did go to University, some years later once I was an adult. But the entire time I was at University, I was put down and looked down upon in the congregation. It was awful. Now that I have a degree, noone says a word, in fact, they like being able to say I have a degree in......