i've been w/ my husband for 2 years, married for 3 months.
he knows what i went through going throught the df process.
he saw the horrible time i had dealing w/ loosing my family.
You can't, kiddo.
No matter how empathetic, sympathetic or caring he might be, he CAN NOT understand. My experience is that most people who aren't familiar with JWs relate leaving to leaving some other more main-line religion. Of course it's completely different.
Accept his concern and sympathy and love, but don't expect him to really be able to understand. That's what WE'RE here for...
Jewel
i guess i've lurked around long enough - it's time to join my new family and tell the condensed (thank goodness) version of my experience.. my parents came into the org.
when i was 10. it was a scary congregation in a small town.
the po was my dad's boss and he had complete control over everyone.
Welcome, Xenpunk!
I think this was part of why I "never fit in" as well. I asked too many questions, read the wrong worldly books, thought too much.
The thought of being the submissive wife of a really devout JW terrified me!
I remember once one of the Witnesses came looking for me for something at work. After wandering around the reception and then the secretary pool area for awhile, he finally asked for help and was then escorted to MY secretary's desk. When she buzzed me and told me he was there I took GREAT pleasure in saying I would be with him as soon as I could. Fortunately, I had somebody waiting who had an appointment. He had to sit and wait until I was done with that one. My secretary-and I still owe her for this one-told him I'd "squeeze" him in before I had to leave for a meeting...
Man, sometime Karma can be sooooooo sweet.
last night at the high school was honors night.
various and sundry honors were handed out all over the place for the honor students.. my daughter received honors for:.
presidential award for educational excellence and gold honor chord- must have grade point average above 3.5. ospi washington state honors- received academic index rating which places her in the top 10% statewide.. aa degree- 2 year degree from sfcc.
Congrats, TR, and family-
Few things can make you feel better than seeing one of your kids achieve a personal triumph!
Jewel
i have been meeting-free for a year now, (although i did attend the last memorial mainly out of curiosity).
i have learned enough now, since leaving "the truth" to know that i'm never going back.
but i was wondering how long it takes to get all of the shit out of your head?
I've been out nearly 18 years. I agree with whoever said that you can leave them, but it never really leaves you. I know that my experiences will always be a part of me, but I like myself and my life now. I feel that the past brought me to this point and it's not such a bad place to be so I wouldn't change my life.
I learned alot as a Witness-not all of it good, but most of it important in some way. I would NEVER go back-the thought gives me shudders, but I try to take the things of value and leave the rest.
For example (even after 18 years) slow, relaxed, lazy Sunday mornings are SOOOOOO sweet-I don't think I would have the same appreciation if I hadn't spent all those Sundays at the KH <G>
Jewel
what was your crisis of conscience, moment of clarity, epiphany or realization?
i am so interested in what got you thinking.
blessing to you,.
For me it was a documentary on some cable channel. My oldest daughter was probably 18 mos old. I hadn't been to a meeting in probably 3 years, but still had a BUNCH of angst about the whole thing-at this point especially the "fact" that my lack of faith was going to doom my child.
Then I saw this show about orphanages in Russia. There were these beautiful, innocent children living in horrific conditions: filthy, no medical care, not enough food, physical abuse, etc. I was angry with the Russian officials who were living in relative luxury and allowing these poor children to suffer so. Then I got to thinking about how Jehovah-a reportedly omnipotent god-was allowing this horrible suffering and millions more examples of suffering around the globe so he could win his cosmic bet with Satan.
I decided then that, if there was a Jehovah, he was a monster and not something that I could worship.
I let alot of fear and anger go at that moment.
i just got a call from my mother.
in approximately 1951, jane left the family...just walked out.
i brought up the possibility that perhaps her sisters were hurt that age 16 she walked out on them; just like their mother.
I feel for you. When my family's oddities get me in a position like this, I try to figure out what would be the least painful for me. I take it as a measure of growth when I can figure out what would be best for me, separated from what I feel obligated to do.
You're a good, caring person either way or you wouldn't agonize. My thoughts are with you.
Jewel
there are times when ilook back fondly on my days in the witnesses, especially when i think on the congregation get togethers we would have every once in awhile (not too often) people from our hall and sometimes others would show up (not too many) and good times were had by all.
this is how the schedule usually went.. 8pm: arrive at the community centre.
8:05pm: scope the room.
I miss riding in the back seat of a 72 car with no air conditioner on a 92 degree Iowa Saturday. Squished between two or three other "young people" with book bags in the back seat of a two door car. With the limestone gravel dust wafting through the windows until your teeth felt gritty and your hair felt like twine.
I miss sitting in my great-uncle's avocado-green-shag-carpeted living room thinking that if the book study didn't end I would surely jump up screaming and run from the house.
I miss spending three hours studying the Watchtower on Saturday nights and having to listen to younger cousins sound their way sssslllloooowwwwllllyyyy through each paragraph as they took turns reading.
I miss watching the skin on my knees blister in the sun at an assembly in an open stadium.
Wheeew-terrible memories
jehovah's name, the very name associated with jehovah's witnesses is being disgraced, trampled upon as never before in the organization's history!!.
in the past jehovah's witnesses have been reproached for standing up in defense of jehovah and his word.
jehovah's name was sanctified at all costs and it appears from their history books that jehovah was making a good name for himself by means of their integrity.
>>> I consider it a test of my "loyalty" to Jehovah God.<<<
My question to this always is: Tested by whom?
I assume here that you believe that Jehovah is allowing Satan to do this to "test" the loyalty of the Witneses. So does that mean that, for the time that this "test" is being conducted at least, that the WTBTS is in the hands of Satan? Wouldn't that, at least in this situation, make it Satan's organization?
i have met so many great folks in the chat room, and read many wonderful post.
its sad that because these people have decided to think for their selves, they have been labeled evil.
people who once called us friends, said they would give their lives for us, now will not even make eye contact with us.
My oldest brother always says:
I'd rather die in Armageddon a hundred times than have to spend eternity with nothing but JWs.
"all of them witches" was the name of the book that mia farrow read in in the film "rosemary's baby" which eventually lead her to believe that ruth grodon, ralph bellamy, and several other actors from the 40's and 50's rooming in her apartment were satan-worshippin' wiitches.
in this day in age i think people who are witches in real life have to live with various stereotypes permeated from movies, t.v.
shows, and whatnot.
Preston,
I've been exploring paganism and Wicca. Witchvox is a great place to go for information. This can be VERY scary to an XJW because we have been given this paganism=demonism indoctrination.
In fact, paganism usually has NOTHING to do with Satan or demons. In most cases, Satan is not even recognized as an entity at all (one of the things that was a wonderful revelation to me!)
I'm not Wiccan (I have this fear of organized religions of all sorts-wonder where that came from <G>) but have a couple of very dear friends that are Wiccan. Their most important rule (and one followed by some other pagan traditions as well) is: An it harm none, do as ye will. Not that far from "Do unto others..." and it pretty much precludes sacrificing babies and that sort of thing that the WTBTS (and others for that matter) will tell you is part of paganism.
Another big thing is the absolute LACK of proseletyzing (sp???) Your boyfriend might invite you along or give you information, but if he's serious he won't push you anywhere you don't want to go.
Jewel
