skywho

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Posts by skywho

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  9

  thank you

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've received calls from people around the world last night.

  the love among the people here is amazing to me..

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  skywho

  
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  8

  untitled

  by skywho in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  when everything was new and i was a child there was a feeling of relief knowing that i was born in to the truth and i was so thankful for that.

  i was thankful to my mom for being strong and raising us to have such strong faith.

  i was thankful to my father for.... making my childhood horrible, there for making it so everyday we had to really rely on jehovah to make it threw, that in turn build my faith stronger.

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  skywho

  When everything was new and i was a child there was a feeling of relief knowing that i was born in to the truth and i was so thankful for that. I was thankful to my mom for being strong and raising us to have such strong faith. I was thankful to my father for.... making my childhood horrible, there for making it so everyday we had to REALLY rely on Jehovah to make it threw, that in turn build my faith stronger. My mom and dad became JWs when they where in they're late teens. both new to the congregation found each other and got married. My father was/is a alcoholic schizophrenic bipolar... a scary combo. thanks to that scary combo I really don't have many memory of the early years. just broken flashes in time, and Prayers to God to Let me die, I have been suicidal since i can remember. my dad would get DFed over and over. and in turn we were looked at as bad association to the others, and the other kids couldn't hang out with us. after years 19 (i was the baby only 14 at the time) of physical abuse to me and my siblings and at the end my mom as well. my mom finally said enough and got a divorce. I never saw my dad again he moved to the other side of the country. i got my GED when i was 15 'cause my school was "just getting so bad". I started auxiliary pioneering. my mom got remarried to a WONDERFUL brother from a Hall in the country and we moved(i was 17). I went to a lot of quick builds and met a horrible man there that i married 3 days after my 18th birthday.... cause I'm just so smart. I moved to his hall that was even farther in the sticks, and everyone in the hall was Old... still aux. pioneering... now much more on my own since no one met out at the hall. I finally got to overwhelmed with that, being a new bride and working, so only did it in the nicer weather. to my ex husband i was a maid, a cook and a prostitute. I was also a Dart board for his Sharp sarcastic words. After a year of marriage he and my best friend since i was 6 thought it would be a good idea to fool around behind my back. it wasn't full on sex... so i didn't have grounds. I staid. It really didn't help my depression. after that He got very strict. I couldn't hang out with my family, my friends, I had to work for his family. I even tried to pioneer and he forced me to quite after my 1st year. I started to plain my death. then one of my best friend died a long 3 other JWs in his car. i knew how i was going to kill my self right then and there. as i sat next to the free way waiting for a big semi to come for me to pull in front of i could hear one of the young married brothers from my hall that i made friends with in my head, speaking of his wife wanting him to get on depression meds "I don't need a pill, I need to get away from Her!" I pulled the car around packed up some of my stuff and left. Started off by staying with my sister(2 miles from my ex husbands house) he would stalk the place at all hours making sure i was "where i should be". he would tell me "you can divorce me on paper but we will always be married to God, I'll never give you grounds" at this time i had just met sighco and if ever there was love at 1st sight this was it. we ever told each other how we felt and avoided each other. We couldn't be together and that was all. so i did what i had to do. If Sighcowould still be there for me in the end or not I HAD to be rid of the man i would rather die than look at one more day. so i went to a party of a guy from my old high school and there was my ex boyfriend that was a JW back when we dated(back in the city)... I was free of my ex husband. I told the elders, they didn't want to DF me. I told them to. i needed to see why life brought my ex-bf around... 17 days later... I broke up with him... he was no longer indoctrinated, but i was. I dated a atheist "worldly" boy that worked in the same company as sighco just a different branch about a hour away. I had fun in the world. I had wonderful friends build a new family. But I missed my Family and i was still indoctrinated. I can't have children, but i some how got pregnant... and i lost it right away... heart broken i "knew i Had to go back to "the truth"". i planed my move back to my mom's... right before my move my worldly bf was on vacation. i went to his work to pick up a few things and sighco was the person they called up to fill his position for the week we both filped out. i was DFed we couldn't talk. i knew i hurt him. I new he felt like i was cheating on him, and i knew that there was no other way. i couldn't explain my reasoning to him. It's_me! and i had got DFed around the same time she kept going to the meetings the whole time and I was in the world. we didn't talk it felt wrong. i didn't want to hold her back. when i came back to the meetings it only took 3 months before i was reinstated. (10 months total df time)... they still wouldn't reinstated It's_me! after a full year they reinstated her. in my reinstatement meeting one a brother asked me about stuff that happened YEARS before my disfellowshipping that was none of they're business. but i was reinstated. I was welcomed back but i still had the dirty title of "reinstated". but not to badly. I'm bubbly and that hall always loved me. I moved up to the city to go back to school. sighco still avoided me. It was ok it hurt but i knew i hurt him first. i dated a brother that i new since i was born but we didn't/couldn't love each other like that... it was just safe.... then 5 months after i was reinstated sighco sent me a email. I invited him to hang out with me. broke up with my bf. we (sighco and i) saw each other we started dating and we just new we were made for each other. we got married 3 months later. His hall hated me... not all of them just most. mostly the PO(maybe it was just my thong). they weren't happy for sighco they didn't want to get to know me. I was a dirty reinstated person that was soiling there hall and soiling sighco(he was pioneering at this time) I always had Social anxiety, but it got a lot worse, we moved to a different hall after 3 month of marriage. I still made it to the meetings, sighco stopped and started drinking they elders in our new hall would call to set up times to come and talk to him. they would say stuff like "ok I'll call you on Thursday to set up a time to get together" they never called the 2nd time.... 3 or 4 months later they would call again the same way... and never got together with him... we moved again closer to my new job... new hall... at this time i wasn't making it to all the meeting but still trying and slowly stopped... No one ever called from this hall... not for sighco... not for me. sighco stopped drinking in fear of losing his wife. we were/are best friends. but i had lost respect for him as a spiritual head. that put a wadge in our marriage. he started to figure things out that i didn't know about. he never told me he was questioning things. in late January this year he told me. he showed me the changes in the bible that were made. he would just think of a scripture of hand that JW doctrine is built and look it up in different translations.... changed all of them.... just barley, but just enough to change the whole meaning of the verse. for nights we would sit up late at night just reading the bible, comparing scriptures and crying. "we were brainwashed, we where in a cult. How could that be?" we have got so many books just trying to deprogram ourselves and figure things out. I'm agnostic/atheist now... in just 2 months i have learned more than 27 years of being a witness... all the things that didn't make since now i understand why they didn't. It's_me! and i have been friends since we were 13. she was the only one i thought i could tell and i REALLY hoped she would listen and i wouldn't scare her. I'm so happy that I listened to my husband and that we have such a good relationship that i would listen to him. I'm so happy that It's_me! herd me. we also told one of our other friends that was already not a witness for her own reasons and she listened. but our families are all still very much in. my husband and my moms both have told us we are using apostate thinking... but we aren't trying to talk to them. they have been cornering us with questions. we are trying to be nice polite and respectful answer questions nicely. we were really hoping to fly under the radar, but they aren't letting us. any suggestions?
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  19

  Our Daughter is 10 Tomorrow

  by nugget in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  here's her cake and presents - she couldn't wait so opened one, hence the books.

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  skywho

  
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  Stumbling Blocks and "Relying on Jehovah"

  by sabastious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it just occurred to me a massive double standard on the part of the gb.

  i look forward to asking an elder this one day if the time ever comes (jud com):.

  why is it that the concept of stumbling only applies to the rank and file?

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  skywho

  Amen!
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  21

  Just got a visit from my mother....

  by its_me! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  she came by tonight.

  i was glad to see her, but it was so mentally exhausting.

  she is a very devoted jw, and the whole time, i was trying to say everything just right so as not to "tip her off" to my mindset.

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  skywho

  its hard I feel like i can't talk to them 'cause they know we don't go to meetings and all they want to talk about is the ORG, whats going on, and how close we are to the end. i can't believe I use to sound that crazy and be that annoying. but i love them. even though they will hate me for not believing what they do.
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  35

  Here's my story! (Long one!)

  by its_me! in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is a quick version of my life in the org.

  i was born and raised in it.

  my father was physically and mentally abusive to my siblings and i. he was inactive from the meetings and service for much of my life.

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  skywho

  your a stronger person for all that you have lived throw. I wish life could be simple. I wish i could say the hard part is over. i hope you can fade under the radar, without prying questions from family regarding your faith.(its been rough over here)

  you wrote this during the meeting time ha ha
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  2

  How bad a Witness does someone need to be to find these clips funny?

  by inkling in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so, i have this (active!

  ) witness friend, one of the few who still talk to me, and he sends me email links to youtube videos.. here a two of the recent ones, introduced by him with "this made me crack up":.

  http://youtube.com/watch?v=ir1-a209boq.

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  skywho

  and Shortly after this episode of dinosaurs came out. the GB band the watching of this show for all Jehovah's Witnesses. Free thinking is evil. All Hail the Potato!
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  48

  Moral Question ...

  by sacolton in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  would you use the handicap stall that is big and roomy ... even if other smaller stalls were available?.

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  skywho

  its more about what one is the cleanest
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  12

  Did you feel lonely after being disfellowshipped?

  by paul from cleveland in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  skywho

  when i was "DFed" I wasn't lonely. I had wonderful "worldly" friends that became my family. And they NEVER "chewed me up and spit me out"! With their love and support I could never feel lonely... but i missed my family far too much.
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  53

  Would you NOT hire a JW because they're a JW?

  by Open mind in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  would you let a jw's religion affect your decision to use their services?.

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  om.

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  skywho

  I would NOT hire a JW for a job that requires critical thinking skills.

  muhahahahaha!!!!