"sure, honey, that dress looks fine.
why he tells it: hassle avoidance.
men employ these "forgivable fibs" not just to avoid hurting you ("of course you don't look fat in that outfit") but to make their lives easier ("i think that wallpaper looks great") and to steer clear of trouble ("i guess cindy crawford's 'sexy' in a conventional kind of way, but she's not my cup of tea").. it's not that your man doesn't care what you wear or what the living room looks like -- he does.
And I thought it was only my crazy family that saves stuff. Lately my mom had to clean out her house and they took away truckloads of junk. All the sheds are still full though, and it is only a matter of time before the house fills up again. My sister and brother are jus as bad as their father (my stepfather). I thought it was just because they are all nuts. Now I see I am not so alone after all.
Pam
do you wish that you were of a different race or heritage than you are ?
When I was younger I hated haveing red hair and freckles. Now it makes me look younger than I am, so I like my hair color. And I really like my life now the way it is. I never thought I would reach that point where I could say that. It feels pretty nice.
Pam
those who believe in god or those who don't?.
do you think its more satisfying to know that you are responsible for your own actions and that its completely up to the choices you make?
or is the hope that "god" gives give a nice goal to reach for even if you have specific things to follow?.
Since I have started to question the whole Christian thing, and have decided to think for myself. i am very happy. It is a kind of contentment. It's great to be able to give myself credit when things go right and to take responsiblity when things go wrong. I really only having to worry about myself and my kids. The freedom is wonderful. Not having to worry about what Jesus would do, no guilt. that is the best thing.
Pam
one day, george bush dies.. he immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.. "i don't know what to do here" says the devil.
"you are on my list but i have no room for you.
you definately need to stay here, so i'll tell you what i'm going to do.
That was great. I really needed a laugh today.
Pam
hello, just wanted to introduce myself.
was raised as one from about 4 to 16. mother jw and still in, father and 2 brothers never were.
just within the past 6 months or so realizing the effects of being raised jw has had on me.
Welcome, this is a great board. I don't post much, but I find myself reading it all the time. I guess I need to get a job, but until I do I am enjoying all the people and info here. Have fun.
Pam
so many do quote a scripture to make a point against an idea, yet i see that a number do not seem to believe in the bible's inspiration, anyway.
so, do you believe that the bible is god's inspired word??
?
I no longer think it is inspired. I don't even know why it was written in the firs place, just to control people? This is a new admission for me, I have never put into words what I have been thinking about the Bible and its chosen religion. As a book it isn't even that interesting to read. Just a lot of killing and men getting all the sex they could want. I do know whoever wrote it didn't think much of women, he must have not been gettin any.
Pam
.
in the spirit of minimus i thought i'd put a positive spin on things.
they say when you surrond yourself with the positive its easier to be positive and vice versa for negativity (no offense to min as i also fully believe that you have to deal with negativity too).... that being said....whats the nicest thing, compliment, gift etc that anyone has ever said or done to/for you?.
Last October when my mobile home burned down, the people where my sister worked took a big interest in my family. Because of these total strangers I have an apartment full of furniture and dishes, microwave etc. I didn't even know these people, but there kindness and big heartedness will always be remembered. And it's funny, as I kid I was told worldly people were selfish and mean. That is not what I saw when something bad happened to me. Most the people who helped me had never met me before. The memory of it just blows my mind.
Pam
i have read many stories here about those who have been disfellowshiped.
they express the pain of the experience, and the emotional trauma they experience.
i have to ask a question.
Shunning doesn't always stop when one is reinstated. I was df when I was 19 and then reinstated when I was 21. I walked away when I was 33. During the years after I was reinstated and was said to be forgiven. Many people in the congregation didn't forgive. They thought I was not sorry enough, and I deserved any bad thing that happened to me. In fact my own brother in law didn't let my sister babysit for me so I could work because I had made my mistakes (I got pregnant and had a son) and if my life was hard, I deserved it. I could never figure out why no one could forgive and forget my past. Later when other single mothers came into the congregation, no one could remember who I was. Those other single moms got alot of help from the cong. but I didn't. I was told it was because they had made their mistakes when they didn't know any better (they were worldly) so it was okay to help them now that they knew the "truth". I on the other hand should have known better. Didn't matter if my son needed something I couldn't buy him. I was still being punished.
By the way I was only 13 when I was baptized, it was 1975 and I wasn't given a choice. I was afriad not to because I didn't want to die. Now I am ignored, but I still walk up to people and say hi anyway. Just to see the look of terror that comes over their faces.
Pam
did you get made fun of when you were in school?
i'm curious to know because when i was in junior high i was constantly picked on made fun of and the butt of many jokes.
even remembering that hurts till this day.
Yep, school was awful. Sixth grade was also a bad time for me. I was a short, red headed, freckled girl with a strange religion. And we were dirt poor. I remember my only defense in 6th grade was to be angry all the time. I developed a very bad temper. When I was in 3rd grade a kid kicked me in the stomach on the play ground because I did not salute the flag. He said his father said I was trash because of my religion. And I heard the be proud you are being persecuted for God. It didn't make it feel any better. I always wanted to be normal, and like everyone else. In high school I was the only jw, was a very small school (about 100 in the student body). I wanted to die more than once when I was a teenager.
Pam
i'm sure all of us were loyal at one time to the watchtower, believing in all of it.
(some of us probaly hated it from day one as well but, ).
what were some of the first things that happened or were said, that made you to start doubting it and beginning the loss of your loyalty to the organization ??????.
The way I had always been treated. I was never good enough and it wasn't because I wasn't trying. I had mad mistakes as a kid, and no one seemed to be able to forget them. I was one of those people that new ones were told about. She used to be df, she has two kids and not married, etc, etc. I hated being so alone. I felt guilty because I didn't want to go, and I didnt want to go to meetings and I didn't want to go out in service (hated that). So I got married so I could use my non jw husband to stop going to meetings. Then I felt guilty and thought I was killing my children. I was miserable. Until I started reading on the internet. Then it was the generation change that really got me going. It was great to get rid of the guilt, I was not killing my children. I have never looked back since.
Pam
