Posts by Iwasyoungonce

14

Thoughts

by Wolfy in

jw
friends

doing the "fade" thing is like a slow, painful torture to me.

i have to do the fade because of my current circumstances (wife being a jw but starting to doubt/both our families very strong jw's).

it makes me angry at having wasted so much time and energy (and money) being a jw.

I'm so sorry for your situation. I wish we were closer for coffee. I am not in your situation but I had to travel much of the same road with my wife and her family. It is so much harder when you have multi generations that will gang up on you. If you are like me you don't take well to bullies. That trait did not help me in my situation. It is so clear how much you love your wife. I love mine too. I helped my wife to get herself totally free by standing my ground even when it came to not backing down to her father. At the time she was stunned. No one had ever stood up to him in any way and not been hit for it. No one had ever argued with him and won the argument. I did both at once. No one ever told her parents No. No is a word that jw's do not seem to understand.

It was quite liberating to get free and we have a closer relationship now. Steve Hassan has a new book out "Releasing the Bonds." I recommend it and have read it. It showed me all the things that I did horribly wrong with my jw family. I was just being who I am but, many of the things I did and said are part of the books programs. I am not telling you to do a SIA with your wife. That would be your choice. For me, although I have no regrets and could not have realistically gotten clear and free of the jw moronic way of having to live when you are out in reality, but your still tethered to the dock by family. I would have known that what I was saying will cause reactions A or B by a person that is under cult mind control and don't take it personally. I always did. I let my family make me feel like I was the one that was somehow in the wrong. It drove me to where sometimes I just wanted to leave. I wanted to leave before I got left. Well, I'm glad I stayed and stood my ground. It is worth it. My wife is, was, and always will be worth it. The jw's power is not legitimate. It is the fake power of a pathetic tyrant. That they have power in the sense of fear that they could divide your family so you had better remain subjugated to them shows how they are really devils.

I do believe that your love for your wife is more real than any amount of promises that the wt has to offer. God willing she will see that too.

Edited by - Iwasyoungonce on 1 December 2002 3:34:7

189

Donkey's never-ending atheism thread

by donkey in

wih the permission of simon, i would like to start a thread to act as a collection of thought, quotes and miscellany on atheism and agnosticism.

there are so many other threads on this subject but no one place which one can go to on here.

i have much to share - enjoy and contribute with me please.give me the storm and stress of thought and action rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith.

Iwasyoungonce

Can god have power without the threat of punishment? - Donkey 2002

Are you asking about control?

If you are a subscriber of the nelism clan or the order of the atheists then are you your own god? If so then rule responsibly. And, don't blame anyone/everyone else when you screw up. (like Adam did.)

16

'Religion' after the Witnesses?

by happysunshine in

jw
friends

'religion' after the witnesses?

is it possible?

any comments?

Iwasyoungonce

I think that when someone has been so abused by religion it is hard to trust again. In the JW setting everyone turns on you and is trying to screw you any way they can. Even years after you leave. How can you go to that (another religion) which you have hated for so long without looking like and feeling like a hypocrite? I think that the pride alone would be enough to keep many at bay. And unfortunately the jw's are not the only religious crooks out there. I can say though when you overcome your (the) fear of the unknown it is a beautiful thing. It is like a big weight being lifted off you. Not every church is palatable by far but there are so many good ones. If you are looking for what is wrong in every religion and every person then you will never be disappointed. And you will probably never find one that is acceptable for you to express YOUR beliefs and YOUR love that you have to give. But, "IF" you look for the good things in religions and people, and work on improving yourself (Pull the plank out of your eye) then you might start to find a way to be really happy. And that is a good thing.

2 other things I believe.

Faith is not the same thing as religion.

God is bigger than any one religion.

12

Do you remember having to spend Thanksgiving......

by Jesika in

jw
friends

going door to door???????

i remember the jw's thinking this was a great chance to reach those we normally wouldn't have.

i hated going out in service on the holidays!!!!!

Iwasyoungonce

Prostalatizing on Christmas??? <sigh>

Never mind.

27

When You Hear Someone Say "The Truth"...

by minimus in

jw
friends

when a witness talks about a person not being "in the truth", does that get to you?

or if they self-righteously proclaim that "at least, they're in the truth and not worldly", does that push any buttons?

Iwasyoungonce

(((Minimus)))

For the record you are the propagandist that everyone loves to read and respond to...Me too. (and, that is not meant as an insult).

To your question. No, not at all. The truth to a cultie is fluid. It all depends on what the leader (ever watch Toy Story) wants the truth to be at that point and time.

For me, the "truth" has to do with what is right and what is wrong. I understand that "humanistic truth" does have to do with my understanding of things. But I look to get all the facts from all worthy sources to make my decisions and to relate my understandings. To quote Einstein "I don't need to be right but, I would like to know "if" I am right." It (my truths) are not about control or issuing/canceling a license to be believable.

A Jehovah Witness will have ask permission to be truthful. A Jehovah Witness could be punshed for being truthful. On that bases alone I am not a Jehovah Witness.

(Maybe a good thread would be 1001 reasons why NOT to be a Jehovah Witness.)

33

New to board-1st post

by kril in

jw
friends

my last attempts at posting were to no avail so i'm just going to test this out first and they edit and post something else.-it worked.. i have been reading a lot of the material on this website and find most of it interesting.

i'm still a witness but have some questions about bible/doctrine that haven't been answered to my satisfaction.

it seems that when i discuss things with people (i.e witness elders) they more or less don't listen to my arguements.

Iwasyoungonce

Welcome to the forum Kril & Bootsie. I hope you explore around for awhile. My 2 pennies are true friends would not leave you.

10

DON'T GIVE JEHOVAH WITNESSES A BREAK

by Iwasyoungonce in

jw
friends

it has almost always been my experience that when encountering a jehovah witness with sword drawn to defend relgion the first demand is to establish what clan (relgion) i have been branded with.

thus the nit picking of my faith can take place.

like a tit for tat.

Iwasyoungonce

Spanner,

You question " I was just wondering in what capacity you have been affected by the JW religion?"

None.

36

Spousal Abuse Thoughts

by DakotaRed in

jw
friends

i have been having an ongoing discussion with a friend about spousal abuse.

she has come to accept and believe that i have never hit a woman in my life, but feels that i am a rarity.

i contend that i am not, that although too many men still hit their wives, they are in the minority.

Iwasyoungonce

Sentinal, Lin, all you guys who had to endure all of it. I am so sorry.

Jay

36

Spousal Abuse Thoughts

by DakotaRed in

jw
friends

i have been having an ongoing discussion with a friend about spousal abuse.

she has come to accept and believe that i have never hit a woman in my life, but feels that i am a rarity.

i contend that i am not, that although too many men still hit their wives, they are in the minority.

Iwasyoungonce

There is not any excuse for spousal abuse. Period.

On a nother note. 90% of violence against women is inflicted by men. But, 75% of all violence is inflicted on men. Which means that 3 out of 4 victims of violence are male. When it comes to having violence done to you chances are it will be one male doing it to another male. I'm not trying to belittle wife beating. I'm just pointing out that guys we are all in this together. Violent people (pattern abusers, violent criminals) are the minority. They should not be tolerated.

What should we do? Look to our children, act like the people we want them to become.

(Stats are from the book Principles of Soc. But I took them from memory)

10

DON'T GIVE JEHOVAH WITNESSES A BREAK

by Iwasyoungonce in

jw
friends

it has almost always been my experience that when encountering a jehovah witness with sword drawn to defend relgion the first demand is to establish what clan (relgion) i have been branded with.

thus the nit picking of my faith can take place.

like a tit for tat.

Iwasyoungonce

I never took the hook.

But, they completely divided my family. My wife was in up till 18 then de'fed days before we got married. Of course they (jw's) don't see it that way. They claim to the rest of the family that they are my victim. They claim that I am a bigot and I only love money...Blah Blah. No one believes them. As everyone has been attacked. But they are afraid to create boundries that are fair. They want peace. I mean don't the jw's have a right to believe what ever they want? Which I say yes until they try to push it upon me when I say No. That is like rape. I did not know about the real truth about the truth until this year. Most of the people around me (non family) had little knowlege about them. More than 1/2 (estimate) have or have had some dealings with the group. All say the same thing. "They want to do something but don't know what to do." I don't think that SIA is approperate for all conditions by far. But if people were honest with experinces I think that would help. If they felt safe to talk. The media only covers "Religous" issue like 1% of the time. (Don't have a source where I heard that) And, although the JW's do have a right to do what they do we have a right to very publicly oppose it. No one should be allowed to hurt so many people and ruin their lives with impunity. It's really an outrage.