by Mary 86 Replies latest jw friends
I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying! You guys are a riot.
If gumby isn't adverse to embarrassing himself, I'm sure he could use a lot of these suggestions to become less loved and invited out.
In my final year as a dub, I was so depressed that I simply ignored the invites and didn't show up to anything. Rude, I know, but they do tend to ask less when you don't acknowledge them.
(((((gumby)))))
Give it time, they will figure out why he isn't associating and they will see through his coming back and stop inviting him, heck even within the congregation they don't invite each other that much, it is all new.
abr
UnConfused said: be overly GumZealous
I absolutely love that term: GumZealous.
Well, after reading all the comments here, I wondered what I'd say to someone in my shoes who's trying to get out of doin witness stuff and I thought of sumthin. I'm gonna tell people I had a back operation and the doctors accidentally cut into the nerve that tells you when you have to go poop and so I shit my pants now and then. I'll buy me some of them "depends" diapers for grown up people and have this bigass bulge in my pants and it will get around real quicklike that I shit my shorts. Ain't nuthin worse than a shorts shitter. I'll wipe some cat poop on me from our litter box just before meetings. Just one time of me going in field service in a cargroup with catcrap on me and I guarantee I'll never be asked out by anyone.......ever!
Odrade.......your advise was awesome and right on the money. There truely is NO easy way out of this deal for me. Not only was I well liked, but my daughter and her family are also well liked and VERY social in our hall. She is ALWAYS having get togethers at her home or cooking up some kinda fun things to do with groups of people. Since she is now making up for lost time, I'm getting invited to everything. The problem with get togethers is......this is a time when you also get invited to work with someone in service on a Saterday.....or invited to a friendly pre-watchtower study at someones home(that just happened the other day). Also, what do I say when I don't turn in any time and the brother calls me to ask me for my time? As Mary recommended, I'll prolly just say "I'm not quite ready yet". After a few refusals, perhaps they will let up on me. I figure I can always lie about my time and report something every month and if someone asks me how I get in my time I'll tell them they are getting to personal or tell them I do alot of informal talking to old friends.
Blueblades gave some good advise also when he said,
Why do we seem to think that we have to give a reason for not accepting an invitation in the first place. The love bombing will soon wear off. Yes or no should suffice when asked. Gumby should try to be a private person and scale back without having to explain his every move and action. In my former congregation, there were many who were well liked and yet you couldn't get too much information out of them. It was like the actor Gary Cooper, who answered everything with the words "YEP!" or "NOPE!
My advice is to do what I did when I stepped down and I did the fade. Less conversation, showed up for meetings when the song was being sung, Left right after prayer, did this by going to the men's room right after prayer then out the door from there. I showed up late for field service after the pairing who with who.Then opted to go on returns and as soon as the first coffee break came up I would move on. Less and less is my advice that worked for me. Remember, you don't have to answer every question thrown at you, yes or no will do just fine. A smile will also work. Excusing oneself is good to do also.
I want to thank everyone who responded here from the bottom of my nutsack heart.....I really really do. I had NO IDEA I'd get as much support as I did.
Actually, I'm handling it better than I thought I would and it's getting easier. At first I was pissed at every single meeting when I heard negativity toward the world and how Jehovahs people were different. I wanted to stand up and tell everyone they all were full of shit and were all a bunch of brainwashed, arrogant, self rightous, judgemental asswipes from hell!! I really did. When the brothers met with me for reinstatement I had an attitude and a half.......as if I could care less attitude.......and they didn't seem to mind.
I'm not sure how all this will pan out and if I can keep up this act. This was one of the hardest decisions in my life to make and I'm still not sure if I've done the right thing....but at least I'm alive. Seriously my good buddies here.....I was on the brink of ending it as my emotions went to hell less than 6 months ago and I figured if I wanted to live I'd better give this a shot. I almost ended my marriage and knew if I did that it would for sure be the end of ever having a life with my daughter and grandkids and I didn't think I coul;d deal with that. My mom had 6 sisters and two brothers ( one a circuit overseer) and all of them were/are witnesses. My moms side of the family is huge with nearly all their offspring also being witnesses........so the influence on me was always great. I also have two of my siblings "in the truth" and they have kids and grandkids that are all witnesses. Now, the whole family is elated that Gumby has finally came back to Jehovah and the pressure is there once again and I feel like if I was to back out now, I'd feel like a major loser for letting everyone down and especially........breaking the hearts of my grandkids who are now so happy to have their grandpa back and also my daughter who has her dad back. What a mess this religion is.
One has to wonder if life is better without family and old friends and having your freedom........or having back your family and old friends and pretending and sacrificing at least PART of your life in order to have them back. It all depends on the person and their strength, who in their family they can live without ......or can't live without, and the happiness you'll have in each scenario. It's a tough one.
Love you guys
Gumby
My mom had 6 sisters and two brothers ( one a circuit overseer) and all of them were/are witnesses. My moms side of the family is huge with nearly all their offspring also being witnesses........so the influence on me was always great. I also have two of my siblings "in the truth" and they have kids and grandkids that are all witnesses. Now, the whole family is elated that Gumby has finally came back to Jehovah and the pressure is there once again and I feel like if I was to back out now, I'd feel like a major loser for letting everyone down and especially........breaking the hearts of my grandkids who are now so happy to have their grandpa back and also my daughter who has her dad back.
I undertsand your circumstances better now, so I apologize for criticizing you earlier. Given all that you've said, my advice would be that you find a way to be one of those half-souled (as opposed to "whole souled") dubs that exist in every Hall, living just inside the boundaries of good standing without being very involved in the congregation. That way, you keep your family ties intact and you can pick and choose the social events you want to attend. Good luck.
Does this mean you're going to start counting your time and return visits when you're posting?
W
Love you too Gumnut... really.
It just occurred to me that perhaps you'd better not post too much personal detail here. Your elders just seem to want you in, but some WT lurkers might not be so lenient and unfortunately they too can add...
All the best pal.
Also, what do I say when I don't turn in any time and the brother calls me to ask me for my time?
I knew a guy who absolutely hated doing FS. I never saw him going door to door, and I never saw him in a FS group. He drove a two door pickup truck, and told everyone that he witnessed to people at work. Why don't you go that route and lie on your timesheet?
told everyone that he witnessed to people at work. Why don't you go that route and lie on your timesheet?
Good idea....and I know it works. My parents haven't been out in Service in 25 years but they turn in a Service Report every month. LMAO! "Incidental witnessing" counts and Gumzealous could easily say that he "feels more comfortable" doing incidental witnessing to people he knows, than going out banging on doors "for now". Unbelievable that you've got to stoop to doing this shit, but that's what this screwed up cult does!!
Oh Gumby! What an interesting question your raise there. Is life better without your family but with your freedom. Or is it better to have your family and be trapped in that abhorrent cult?
Ummmm! Let me see! It depends on the family really. All my immeadiate family, husband and children have left the WT! Whoopee! But the rest of the family I could happily live without seeing ever again. In fact JW family on my side just refuse to shun us! I should be grateful! I should be happy! But try spending even half an hour in their company I swear I could beat them all to death with a bleeding Watchtower and Awake and not feel a single pang of guilt!!!
I love, and I mean absolutely LOVE that the JW family on my husband's side SHUN US completely and absolutely!!! Hallelullla de dah!!!
So! Long live Freedom!
I don't know how you do it, going to meetings and all that but I know I couldn't! You must be smoking some pretty strong 'stuff' before you go to the hall!
As for socialising with them, well I'd just fart loudly and profusely! That'd put them off inviting me. In fact that might also work for meeting attendance! They wouldn't want you doing that in the meetings and might be grateful when you decide to fade again!!
