GUMBERS NEEDS YOUR ADVISE.......

by Mary 86 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthsearcher
    truthsearcher

    Maybe Gumby could have a "work commitment": writing a book entitled

    "Gumbocratic Warfare: Love-Bomb Evasive Tactics",

    using, of course, the many creative suggestions on this thread. Complete with illustrations. I'd buy a copy.

    To add some more:

    1. Green veggies stuck in the teeth are a turn-off. (I recommend broccoli or spinach)

    2. Leaning a little too close (invading the other's personal space) when talking. He needs to be sure to use this equally with women AND with men, so as not to be accused of inappropriate conduct towards the other sex.

    Of course, one has to wonder, how would his wife and kids feel about all these manouvers....

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  • Highlander
    Highlander

    I don't have any advice to give in regards to excuses, however please tell gumby that if he becomes a true believing j-dub again, then I'll track him down and kick his A$$

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  • Scully
    Scully

    1. Green veggies stuck in the teeth are a turn-off. (I recommend broccoli or spinach)

    2. Leaning a little too close (invading the other's personal space) when talking. He needs to be sure to use this equally with women AND with men, so as not to be accused of inappropriate conduct towards the other sex.

    These are really effective when combined with having eaten large quantities of garlic.

    On meeting nights have Mrs. Gumby make some asparagus for dinner so that when he goes to the men's room to pee during the meeting it smells like asparagus-pee. Don't flush so as to allow the aroma to linger.

    Here's a gem from the past:

    It is said that in a venerable British men's club there is a sign reading "DURING THE ASPARAGUS SEASON MEMBERS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES IN THE HATSTAND."

    This is not an endorsement of any activity involving relieving oneself in a hatstand or coatroom.

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  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    ROFLMAO

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  • Mary
    Mary
    Lawrence said: All he has to do is tell one of them that he has a bad case of the crabs, doesn't know where he got them, but is rigorously attempting to eradicate them - that should take care of socializing. The word will get around, and if he were to scratch occasionally at the KH, he probably would be excused from the book study as well.

    LMAO......He can say he got them from some guy named Lawrence. That outta kill the invites pretty quick.

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  • Gregor
    Gregor

    "Gee, I'd love to go but I've been up all night wrestling a demon and I'm pooped!"

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  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    I say he should go to the invites. What harm can they do?

    I am around dubs all the time. The only thing it does for me--it reinforces how brainwashed they really are.

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  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate

    Singing a song for Gumbly;

    The problem is all inside your head
    She said to me
    The answer is easy if you
    Take it logically
    I'd like to help you in your struggle
    To be free
    There must be fifty ways
    To leave your lover

    She said it's really not my habit
    To intrude
    Furthermore, I hope my meaning
    Won't be lost or misconstrued
    But I'll repeat myself
    At the risk of being crude
    There must be fifty ways
    To leave your lover
    Fifty ways to leave your lover You just slip out the back, Jack
    Make a new plan, Stan
    You don't need to be coy, Roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, Gus
    You don't need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee
    And get yourself free

    She said it grieves me so
    To see you in such pain
    I wish there was something I could do
    To make you smile again
    I said I appreciate that
    And would you please explain
    About the fifty ways

    She said why don't we both
    Just sleep on it tonight
    And I believe in the morning
    You'll begin to see the light
    And then she kissed me
    And I realized she was probably right
    There must be fifty ways
    To leave your lover
    Fifty ways to leave your lover ~Paul Simon

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  • penny2
    penny2

    I know some who were reinstated for family and never went back to meetings. Family members were free to associate but love-bombing from the congregation cooled off in no time. A win-win, as far as I can see!

    penny2

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  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    I forgot in my earlier post to this thread to ask you to say hi to Gumballs for me and that I miss his comments posts at the meetings on the board !

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