GUMBERS NEEDS YOUR ADVISE....... (page 2)

Narkissos

That's a heartbreaking situation. Reminds me of the last congregation I was sent to after I left Bethel; I got to love many of the people there, and at the same time I knew it couldn't last long.

But one difference is, I was heading (as slowly as possible) to a clash and Gumby is aiming at a fade... I would give priority to individual relationships where deeper conversations are possible over large gatherings, but I wouldn't recommend that to him as he might quickly sound apostate and attract the elders' attention.

One suggestion fwiw. Go for some "social" or informal meetings but quickly drop everything formal (meetings); the invite on group gatherings might not last long.

Warlock

Mr. Gumboni,

First of all, I miss you.

Second of all, take every invite, go to every gathering. You know why? Because it aint gonna last long Brother. The love bombing will end soon and then it will be back to the same old, same old.

Third of all, maybe you are starting to have concerns about Field Service. Don't worry about it.............PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO LISTEN, ANYWAY.

Warlock

sammielee24

How about if he says that he's having trouble with his sugar levels. Now, before anyone screams at me for daring to use a 'real' illness as an excuse, lets keep in mind that this in no way diminishes the reality of that for a lot of people, but also that many people use migraine, flu and other illnesses all the time as 'getting out' of things.

Start telling people that he was feeling really tired and dizzy and the doctor took some blood and his sugar levels are a little low. He really has to watch what he eats for now and keep his stress levels low, so he's taking it easy. Thank everyone and say maybe in a bit when I feel better. Do that often enough and I'm sure some will get tired of asking - when that wears thin, just tell them he's going to the doctor again because he's still tired etc...you can keep a running doctor/patient 'virtual' relationship going for a while.

If that doesn't work, tell him to limp and moan a lot because he has gout and he's in a lot of pain.

sammieswife.

GoingGoingGone

I can empathize. I had some really good friends in the congregation, and when I started fading, they all called, sent cards, asked about me all the time when my family went to meetings, etc.

They would show up at the house to 'encourage' me, and I really missed them. I was invited to get-togethers, and it was sooo hard after going, because I would have a really good time and it would impress on me how much I really did miss my friends. I wondered if I could really go through with this fade and be so all alone.

So I quit going to get-togethers, until a couple of weeks ago when we were invited to a good friend's with lots of others.... People literally blocked the door to hug me 'hello' as I came in. I still have almost no real-live non-JW friends, and I MISS my old friends. It was really hard.

If Gumby can manage to, I'd suggest staying away from the get-togethers. Say his back bothers him, he's tired, he's overwhelmed with work, whatever he has to. Love-bombing works, that's why they do it.... if he wants to avoid being sucked back in, he needs to limit contact if he can.

GOOD LUCK GUMBY!!!

GGG

minimus

My first thought was to say you are depressed, not feeling well, etc......BUT......Gumby's not a stupid man. He knows what would happen. Now he "needs" advice?? C'mon. You can't have your cake and eat it too. He has the curse of being likeable. People WANT him around them. They ENJOY his company. If Gumby wants to be less invited, don't be so damn likeable. Express some snippiness, a bad mood more often. Show irritation. In other words don't let your best side come out with the "friends". If they see you're not the same cool guy and that you aren't as fun(ny) any more, they might be less inclined to invite you over.....But you reap what you sow by going back. Obviously, Gumby's well aware of the love bombing. However if Gumby feels he might indeed be sucked back in to the cult, he MUST get out and realize that at least he tried to make things workable.

Nosferatu

I think Gumby should have a part time job (on top of his normal job) to help get him out of the horrible debt he incurred while he was in Satan's system of things. Drugs cost a lot of money you know! But it can't interfere with his meeting attendance and service. It can however interfere with "fine association".

Gumby may be going back for his family, but he's not going back to associate with those conditional loving assholes. However, if any elders should invite him, he should take those invitations to get on their good sides. Other than that, fine association should be done only at the hall.

Junction-Guy

He could tell them that the demons are attacking him with a bad case of social phobia and depression in order to keep him away from the JW friends.

blondie

How to avoid social occasions of JWs and invites:

JUST SAY NO

1) Be busy with your own fun things with your family

2) Be busy with projects at home (lawn, repair, woodworking fun)

3) Be busy traveling and getting to know the area you live in (family only)

4) Take a fun class at the local college

5) Volunteer to be a guide on Sunday afternoons at the local arboretum or public garden

6) Get involved in sports with family

7) Tell them you are going to be doing some special personal Bible study

8) Tell them you will be doing some catch up on the publications

9) .................

Blondie

Finally-Free

I would say, "I appreciate the invitation, but after being isolated for so long I find all the attention overwhelming. I prefer to use my spare time to study the Insight books. Have you ever noticed the interesting point on page blah blah blah..."

I guarantee you this will get rid of most JWs in a flash, and social invitations will stop. Most JWs don't give a shit for "spiritual things". They're just in it because it's the only community they know.

W

AK - Jeff

I think he should offer what he always offers us on JWD - free nut-sack polishing. That should reduce the invites.

Jeff

GUMBERS NEEDS YOUR ADVISE.......

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