My plan--fully revealed (page 4)

mia_b

Im not sure about your plan but whatever will get you to the end of your journey sound like a good thing to try, at least your having a go.

Frank75

"Ok to answer your question more thorough, I have homosexual tendencies and same sex attraction to a degree, but gay sex itself does not turn me on. I can only fully enjoy sex with a woman, but yet the attraction part is still there. Therefore what does this make me? Bi?."

Dave:

The above makes you bisexually oriented. Mainstream Christianity is what makes people in your position feel guilty by labeling it "unnatural". But since Bisexuality and even homosexual behavior occurs with frequency in the animal kingdom, the term unnatural is a perverse lie!

You're not alone though as in the people here as well as your sexual attraction.

Bisexuality describes how people feel, not necessarily how they act:
A person can feel attractions to both men and women, decide to remain celibate, and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others.
A bisexual might make a conscious decision to confine their sexual activity to person(s) of one gender and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others

My 2 cents worth would be to put the religion on hold until you have had the therapy too. If not you're wasting your money.

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation which refers to the aesthetic, romantic, or sexual attraction of individuals to other individuals of either gender or sex. Most bisexuals are not equally attracted to men and women. [1]
In the mid-1950s, Alfred Kinsey devised the Kinsey scale in an attempt to measure sexual orientation. The 7 point scale has a rating of 0 ("exclusively heterosexual") to 6 ("exclusively homosexual"). Bisexuals cover most of the scales' values (1-5) which ranges between "predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual" (1) to "predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual" (5). In the middle of the scale (3) is "equally heterosexual and homosexual". [1]
Although observed in a variety of forms in human societies and in the animal kingdom throughout recorded history [citation needed] , the term "bisexuality" (like the terms "hetero-" and "homosexuality") was only coined in the 19th century. [2]
Kinsey Survey:
Male Bisexuality - 46% of the male population had engaged in both heterosexual and homosexual activities, or "reacted to" persons of both sexes, in the course of their adult lives (p. 656, Male). 11.6% of white males (ages 20-35) were given a rating of 3 (about equal heterosexual and homosexual experience/response) on the 7-point Kinsey

Frank75

Junction-Guy

Thanks Frank, but I cant just put my religion aside right now. Im gonna look into therapy and see what they have to offer, and keep an open mind.

As for me, I dont believe that I was born this way, I believe that through various life events I was forced into this. I believe that it is mostly psychological for me. There have been relatively few times in my life when I was happy, and I know the reasons why. Im trying to reclaim something that I lost a few years back, and it has been very hard to do so.

Dave

Q. Bert

We all need peace (within ourselves, with family, with the connections beyond that...) for success.

Friends have seen us at peace; they how how to help us feel our peace.

When we're at peace, we can bring out the best in ourselves and in others.

If you don't define yourself in terms of your sexuality, others may be less inclined to define you in terms of your sexuality.

You are, in large measure, how you define yourself. If you don't want your sexuality being discussed, join a group that isn't concerned with it.

— Q. Bert

under_believer

I doubt that anyone is "100% gay" or "100% straight." Sleep with what you are sexually attracted to, and call it a day. Don't put your sexuality in a bottle, you don't need to.

Q. Bert

Your religion is your value system in action. You'll modify it as you see fit. The controls are within you, thankfully, not in anyone else. Therapy comes in several forms. Even this JWD exchange is a form of talk therapy. Keeping an open mind allows the journey to continue. I don't know that anyone was born conflicted, unless their parents' conversations and life-styles directly had such an impact. I suppose it could happen. That would be a way of being forced, for sure. Sometimes we feel that we have only bad choices in front of us; that's forced, in my mind. Abused humans must learn that we can find good choices. It seems to happen only after we've experienced when others treat us well, with respect and dignity and the clear freedom to choose. If you have had better in years back, you may need to find others who were around then, who were part of the good. If any of them has died in the intervening years, you may still be grieving and may need to share in other activities that relieve you of that grief without being a burden on those around you.

Junction-Guy

Thanks Q Bert, You brought up a good point about conflictions. You see my Dad and Stepmom lived a middle class life, with a decent house, and decent jobs, marriage, and everything else. They had a comfortable living and lifestyle. I was always told that I should not even want those things, I was made to feel guilty for wanting marriage, kids, job,house, etc etc etc. These are the normal things an average american aspires to, yet I was made to feel guilty for wanting those things too. This is a very deep subject, but Im glad Im talking about it now.

LittleToe

Have you taken the Kinsey test, as refered to by Frank?

Kinsey Scale - What's your sexuality?

Being raised as a JW (or any other fundamentalist sect) can lead to some mixed up thoughts going on in your head. I'm a Kinsey 2, and yet about to embark on my second marriage...

Good luck with the future.

truthsearcher

My family keeps telling me that Im young and that I have my whole life ahead of me, and that I should be moving on from my marriage to Amanda, but there is so much to this that I dont think it would be fair to any woman to just forget everything, find another woman and start dating, it just wouldnt be fair. I plan to get therapy, and then and only then I must always be honest and not try to hide things from my past.

I will need to find another woman that understands me and is willing to look past my issues that I have had

Dave:

I read Amanda's post on one of your previous threads where she said she still loves you and maybe there could be a second chance for you together as a couple. I, for one, would like to vote for giving that relationship some more work (including her in the counseling that you realize that you both should have had years ago). Why move on to someone else when there is so much waiting for you with Amanda? She seems like an exceptional woman!!! I wouldn't want to throw that away too quickly.

Take care,

TS

Junction-Guy

You're right truthsearcher, I still love Amanda, never stopped. This is just a big thing for Amanda and I both to come to grips with right now. I really cant see myself with anyone besides her, if not her, then I will live single for a very long time.

	A person can feel attractions to both men and women, decide to remain celibate, and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others.
	A bisexual might make a conscious decision to confine their sexual activity to person(s) of one gender and still be considered a bisexual by themselves and others

My plan--fully revealed

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