Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you

by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends

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  Chemical Emotions

  Ugh. bigmouth's posts made me sick.

  So anyway, if an adult doesn't know how to treat a baby/child, doesn't know to not hit them, doesn't know how horrible it is, then he/she NEEDS to learn. There are so many alternatives to abusing children in order to stop "bad" behavior. Fear is not a good reason to hurt a child. There is NO good reason to hurt a kid, ever.

  Why do we continue to allow abuse simply because it seems to stop behavior that we don't like? Because we can't reason with the child? If we can't reason (and we usually can, adults just don't learn how to), we must protect, not by hurting, but by setting physical boundaries for the kid/baby. If we can't, then the child should not be in that situation/area. Can't keep a kid out o the situation? You NEED to hit them? Someone else should be caring for the kid. We don't hit 3 month olds or the extremely mentally challeneged, yet they can get into trouble quickly and easily as well.Why? It's recognized as cruel and ineffective. Same thing for 3yearolds, 13 year olds, whoever. Same thing. Even when it seems effective, the consequences outway the benefits (and the benefits are rarely even real- abuse causes dishonest, fearful "obedience" more than real obedience anyway).

  If anyone replies to this just to argue with me, I will not do so.
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  Band on the Run
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  Finkelstein

  The latest information about spanking or hitting children for the sake of discipline is that it can mentally effect these particularly kids

  right through their into their adulthood. We have learned much more about child psychology since the era of the ancient Hebrews .......really .
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  Chemical Emotions

  Yuppers, Finkelstein!
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  Finkelstein

  Make spanking illegal -- hitting a child is wrong

  By Andrea DeMeer, QMI Agency

  Hitting a child is wrong.

  No context is required. There are no qualifiers. It is just wrong.

  Stop 10 Canadians on the street and ask them. Is it wrong to hit a child? You will likely receive unanimous agreement.

  Hit a child? Terrible. Who would hit a child?

  As it turns out, most people. In fact the majority of adults in this country -- as many as 70% -- hit their children, or approve of hitting children. Only they use the sanitized euphemism "spanking." It sounds more polite, but any five-year-old can tell you it hurts just the same.

  A new study by the University of Manitoba suggests children who are spanked (hit) feel the pain far into adulthood. Children who are spanked (hit) are more likely to develop mental illness including depression, mania, and alcohol and drug addiction.

  Based on this study and other evidence, the Canadian Pediatric Society is considering denouncing physical punishment as a form of discipline, and others are working to repeal section 43 of the Criminal Code of Canada which allows parents and guardians to use reasonable force as a means of correction for children between the ages of 2 and 12. This is considered abuse only if an instrument is used, if the head is struck or if it leaves any marks. (That last one is a bit of a laugh. Domestic abusers have always known how to inflict invisible wounds, albeit for their own protection.) Eradicating spanking (hitting) from our spare-the-rod-spoil-the-child culture is no small task. It is a learned technique. In other words when you spank (hit) your child you are training that child to someday spank (hit) your grandchild. Moreover it is the simplest disciplinary tool, requiring no imagination, almost no time, and only the effort it takes to a raise a hand. Finally, it's easier to defend the practice of spanking (hitting), rather than admit they may have damaged their own children.

  Canada must make spanking (hitting) illegal, a move already taken by 30 other countries. In tandem, parents need greater education through schools and social services about the negative effects of spanking (hitting) and about how to employ alternative and more loving disciplines.

  Because hitting a child is wrong.
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  Chemical Emotions

  Great article. That made me feel better. I was close to tears.
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  Farkel

  jam,

  It is all just holy spirit inspired Theocratic Direction from Jehovah:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/15771/1/BEAT-that-Child

  Farkel
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  Finkelstein

  Thats a good thread on the subject of discipline and the JWS. Farkel

  Quite disturbing once you read those Watchtower and Awake articles.

  My father was quite the child beater during the late 50's and 60's, even one time using his fists on me

  when I was only 13 or 14, must have read those Dam WT. and Awake articles.
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  bigmouth

  "Ugh. bigmouth's posts made me sick. "

  I think you did really well CE in not attacking me personally but my post.

  "If anyone replies to this just to argue with me, I will not do so."

  As you wish.

  Does anyone else give me credit for opening up about something I did ? And I'm still unsure how I could have handled it better.
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  mrsjones5

  I'm a mother of four. Yes there have been a few times when my kids have tried to kill themselves by running out in the street when they were toddlers (they're faster than you would think) and yes I did swat their little tushies while saying "nononono!". Don't feel guilty about it, dont regret it, did what I thought was right to keep my babies safe.

  That being said I rarely spanked and only did so when warranted, never to excess like my MIL who would whoop my hubby with a fiberglass fan belt for no other reason but GP (general principle - some twisted reasoning that she would whoop with a fan belt because she just knew my hubby had did something wrong even if she didn't know for sure).