Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you

by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends

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  jwfacts

  I love this line out of MadMen. "He's a little kid," Don replies. "My father beat the hell out of me. All it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him."

  Bigmouth, my child from the age of 2 knew not to run on the road. I explained to him that he could get run over, and there would be blood and it would hurt. He had seen a dead mouse at that time and understood that it was dead, so I said if he goes on the road he could end up like that mouse. My friends beats her child every time he runs on the road, and at 4 he still does it as he does not understand why he shouldn't.
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  mrsjones5

  My youngest has autism and he was a runner when he was a toddler. Took any and every opportunity to run into the street outside our house. He was non-verbal and talking to him did no good, swatting the tush did nothing. I finally had to get a latch lock for my front door to stop the child from killing himself. As a parent you do what you have to to protect your child. Some kids respond to talking and some don't.
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  nugget

  I think the danger of spanking is that often parents give in to their own feelings of anger leading to immoderate behaviour. There is something very primal about laying hands on someone else and there is a danger of excessive punnishment.

  Children can be taught to respect others and behave properly without being shown parents out of control.
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  cofty

  I finally had to get a latch lock for my front door to stop the child from killing himself.

  There you go.

  As CE pointed out there are no circumstances in which we would think it acceptable to hit an adult with learning difficulties. We would find ways to teach them or restrain them.

  Why is it ok to hit a child?

  Generations of social conditioning is the only reason.
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  jwfacts

  Spot on Cofty
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  mP

  I believe i read somehwere that xians have been misunderstanding this proverb for a long long time. The idea of the scripture is not about beating ones child with a Rod but rather is more about using a rod to guide a child like one uses a stick when walking w/ sheep and goats.
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  Room 215

  It seems the WT has toned down its "spare the rod" rhetoric over the past decade.
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  mrsjones5

  Like I said before I've raised four kids. Some on this board have met those kids. Each one is different. But they are all well mannered, well spoken, well behaved out of my sight, and respectful. I spanked rarely, not when they were babies, not when they were toddlers. It was a small window. It wasn't in anger but it was to get their attention. I did spank my oldest when he was 5 when he raised his voice at me. I spanked him again when he pushed up against me like he wanted to fight me (it hard to explain but when some kids in the hood are about to fight they take their shoulders and push up against each other. I knew what the boy meant and I knew where he picked that up from.)

  Like I said before a parent does what they need to do to raise their kids cuz none of y'all are going to raise mine.
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  ShirleyW

  I guess it's only fair to preface this by saying I don't have kids, but I agree with the "spare the rod spoil the child". Many parents take that out of context, some spankings by some parents are nothing but brutal beatings leaving physical scars and so forth, that I do not agree with. Like Mrs J says sometimes it is definitely needed.

  Reminds me of the show Supernanny,where 3 and 4 year olds hit the mother and the mother just says "don't hit mommy" and the kid does it again and again and she just stands their and says don't hit me . . . . that would've never flown in my parents house ! !
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  straightshooter

  A book study elder once told me I had to take my baby out of the book study house and spank him to keep him quiet. I followed his counsel and went to the car and spanked him. He cried even more and I felt so bad that I cried. I never trusted or liked that elder after that horrible event.