by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends
Again I am so thankful for the laws today. When I was young
over 60 yrs. ago the laws wasn,t enforced like they are today.
A friend (co-worker) from Vietnam, complaining about the laws
here. You can not touch your wife or beat the kids, they will grow
up to be criminals. In Vietnam, no way would our wives and kids
get away with such disrespect. I told him welcome to America my
friend.
I was so used to being a toddler and being put of the car while my father sped away, seemingly abandoning me, that it failed to phase me in the end. The dolls reenacting a meeting touches a nerve in me. One of the most traumatic events was when I was playing with a much loved, stuffed doll. I played by beating it against my small rocking chair and screaming, "bad baby! Take this! You are no good." I whacked my child so many times, its head exploded and the stuffing blew all over the room. I was mortified. Murdering my own baby. I screeched for my mom, begging her to fix it so my doll would live. It was beyond her ministrations. DEAD at my hand. The doll was wonderful.
I swore I would only buy my daughter sturdy dolls. It was horrific.
((Band)) and everyone.
It's creepy thinking about that isn't it?
Very creepy. They used doll play to convince the justices in Brown v. Board of Ed that separate but equal was very discriminatory. Black girls were refusing to play with black dolls. No white kids would play with a black doll. My mom arranged for me to attend a special preschool at a teaching college. One day no white dolls were available and I so much wanted to play with a doll. Black dolls were available. I kept walking up to the doll and debating what to do. Racism won. I was so young but I absorbed the cultural lessons.
I learned how to take a punch from my old man.
JK
Thanks to chemical emotions for sharing her painful experiences.
I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now. My daughter received not more than 3 "spankings" from me when she was about 3 1/2 to 4 years old. I'm pretty sure the issue each time was her blatantly rejecting parental authority. As a true-believing JW this needs to be corrected or her eternal life could be in jeopardy. The spankings were 2 or 3 bare handed swats to the bottom hard enough to sting a little but not enough to leave a (physical) mark. Never done in anger and always after a boring, long-winded explanation. Almost clinical in the way it was done. After the 3rd(?) spanking my heart told me that this was overkill. I felt horrible. I promised my daughter that no matter what happened in the future, I would NEVER spank her again. I'll have to ask her how her memory of this compares to mine.
My son, OTOH, had an iron butt. He probably got about 12 spankings from me. I can also remember his last one. After the boring speech and the stinging swats he just looked up at me unfazed. Right there I knew this a pointless and wrong-headed exercise. From then on he only got time-outs, natural consequences or loss of privileges.
So now I think I'm ready to be a half-way decent parent. Problem is, I'M ALL DONE. (Well, almost.)
om
Thanks to chemical emotions for sharing her painful experiences.
I wish I knew 20 years ago what I know now. My daughter received not more than 3 "spankings" from me when she was about 3 1/2 to 4 years old. I'm pretty sure the issue each time was her blatantly rejecting parental authority. As a true-believing JW this needs to be corrected or her eternal life could be in jeopardy. The spankings were 2 or 3 bare handed swats to the bottom hard enough to sting a little but not enough to leave a (physical) mark. Never done in anger and always after a boring, long-winded explanation. Almost clinical in the way it was done. After the 3rd(?) spanking my heart told me that this was overkill. I felt horrible. I promised my daughter that no matter what happened in the future, I would NEVER spank her again. I'll have to ask her how her memory of this compares to mine.
My son, OTOH, had an iron butt. He probably got about 12 spankings from me. I can also remember his last one. After the boring speech and the stinging swats he just looked up at me unfazed. Right there I knew this a pointless and wrong-headed exercise. From then on he only got time-outs, natural consequences or loss of privileges.
So now I think I'm ready to be a half-way decent parent. Problem is, I'M ALL DONE. (Well, almost.)
First off, thanks and you're welcome.
Second, I really like your post. I think it shows why parents need help from society (not THE Society! )more than is given. Why does our society (at least, SOME in our society) spend much time condemning things like spanking, slapping, and swatting kids, but does (comparatively) little to help young/new parents to learn better disciplining techniques? It leaves children to be emotionally scarred (possibly) and parents feeling regret. Prevention is as important as treatment.
Kind of sucks, doesn't it?
Chemical Emotion,
Very good point. Many people don't know there is an alternative. If some public service announcements were devoted to not spanking, slapping, jerking, beating, etc., people would be aware. When I travelled to West Virginia frequently, I could not believe how almost everyone bragged about beating their kids. When I told them that confidentiality would be broken in NY and they would end up in jail, they were shocked. It was though Martians appeared and told them about child rearing.
I recently went to a local community college with my oldest son, he had to do an assessment test, and while I was there waiting for my son I witnesses a grandmother shooting and fussing at a toddler because in her words "he wouldn't shutup!". The mother was nearby, she said and did nothing.
I sat there and thought "Wth! The only person looking like a fool is you" and I wondered knowingly how this baby was treated at home? Sad to say mostlikely worst.
So why is there A increase for atheist and agnostic.
Mythical characters, genocide, class distinction and
the little ones, beat the devil out of them so they can
grow up to be A good Christian. Spare the Rod and
spoil the child comes from GOD.
