Dating

d

As a ex jw I am cyncial to dating perhaps because I did not do much dating as a JW. Do any of you still feel this way? I am not against dating but I am still that dating and getting yourself emontionallt attached is sort of a way of being in chains.

d

Sorry for the typo's what I meant to say is that dating is one way to get yourself into emontional chains.

joyfulfader

I have to say that I am finding it difficult to navigate the dating world. I find myself very hesitant to leave myself open to any more hurt so I can't let go and feel free to develop a healthy relationship. Perhaps I have not met the right person under the right circumstances but so far...I haven't felt any sparks or sense of sustainability. Hoping that will change since I finally like myself.

karter

d, As an exjw dating is easy lets face it we were taught to talk to perfect strangers and we can handle rejection.

Karter.

Julia Orwell

JWs view dating as a prelude to marriage, which puts a lot of pressure on you. When deciding to date someone (if you can get interest as a JW) the first thing is, "Could I marry this person down the track?" Even though the purpose is to see if you would like to marry them (you haven't made the decision) that pressure is always there from the beginning. This could be part of why you are afraid of it.

d

I agree I a do fear commitment because I see it as binding I see too many people I know end up in bad relationships or divorced.So I told myself that I would not put myself in such a position.Better it is to be single then it is to be in chains.

joyfulfader

I have been in the "worldly" dating scene for 2 years. I can't say the idea of marriage crosses my mind. I think it's more of fear of losing control of my life again. I dated a guy briefly and when he happened to accompany me to the tire store the salesman ignored me and addressed him regarding MY car. I have been successfully taking care of my cars for years...i found myself livid. I internally fumed as i had to do so often as a jw and that was the end of the relationship (there were many other contributing factors, that was just the final straw). For me, the scary part of dating is putting my walls down long enough to let someone in. Still trying though :)

d

I agree I hate letting someone else into my lives and entangle me with their emontions. I feel at times people are in relationships are really in chains.

joyfulfader

I suppose we just haven't found the right person. A good relationship should feel liberating and secure not binding and restrictive. My viewpoint is that there are so many more fish in the sea now that I am not stuck with the few people placed in front of me with the proper jw "qualifications". While I am still nervous and single, I think there is hope. As my friends always tell me...it will happen when I least expect. Hopefully I won't have walls with the right person :)

jgnat

Well, then, you aren't ready to date yet. Nobody wants to BE your chain.

Dating

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