Dating

by d 82 Replies latest social relationships

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  Giordano

  I think dating comes after there is some level of trust and familiarity.

  What comes first is to be able to 'associate' with someone on a continuous basis be it a professional interest, or job related or charity work....working as a volunteer is the best way to meet quality people. Sports provides opportunities, or local community meetings or projects and of course educational classes.

  Look for something that allows you to be you (if that's a good thing), where you can express yourself, contribute and where it's natural to take an interest in the people around you.

  It's usually a slow process but it's better to go slow instead of making assumptions that turn out to be wrong.
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  d

  I can try but I feel that I maybe setting myself up for failure.
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  d

  I need advice and help with overcoming with facing my fear of women.
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  LisaRose

  Well, I can tell you that women rarely bite, so don't worry about that. Get out there and join something where you will have a chance to meet like minded people. Volunteer, go hiking, whatever.

  I am guess you are on the introverted side, as its usually more of a problem for introverts. It is hard, you are putting yourself out there, it must be tough on the ego when a woman says no. It's better if you try and figure out if the woman has any interest, that way you don't risk as much. First compliment her on something, like her hair or clothes, but in a polite way. If she acts offended, of dis interested, back off. If she seems happy, ask her her name. If she gives it to you and seems happy, then introduce yourself ask her if you can buy her a coffee. If she says no, she is not interested. If she says yes, maybe she is, ask her out, what have you got to lose? So what if you get shot down, its no reflection on you, move on, try again, everything gets easier the more you do it.

  Practice a few stock phrases in the mirror so you feel comfortable saying them.
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  transhuman68

  Oh d- women aren't that different to men- they are just slightly more irrational! but men & women both want the same things, in many ways. Invite a girl out for an afternoon or an evening- see a live band or go gambling or to a festival- whatever seems like fun- if a girl likes you, she will usually agree to anything- but there is no need to get stressed until the 3rd date, anyway, LOL.
• 

  d

  True But it is hard to overcome my Jw fear of women. I fear them not in a literal sense but more sense in that my social akwardness does me in. I also fear that in many ways I am just not in their league. I feel defeated around women. I see a pretty female and tell myself she would rather stick forks in her eyes then go out with a guy like myself.So I just let her pass and go on my seperate way and let her leave.

  But I feel that once a women meets me I can be nice guy but it is okay I can always just pursue my studies which is best for me at this time.
• 

  LoisLane looking for Superman

  d...

  LisaRose ^^^ has a lot of great suggestions for you.

  Have you never heard of stories of pretty girls that never had dates because no one called?

  The guys thought she would turn them down, so never tried.

  Please do not give up.
  
  I promise there is a pretty girl out there that is just right for you.

  You have to go find her and after getting to know her better, if she is the one, tell her.

  If she does not feel the same, do not feel bad.

  Go back out here and find your woman!

  LoisLane wishing us all Joy, Happiness and Love...
• 

  d

  thanks for the advice. I do not know why I get so bent around women especially beautiful ones. I just can not compose around them.
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  jgnat

  You aren't anywhere near ready. If you see a potential partner as a CHAIN around your neck, they don't want you. Who wants to be a CHAIN?
• 

  d

  True I guess I function as a solo indivdual.