by stephenw20 104 Replies latest jw friends
riz:
yeah, i worried about that. especially during prayers. you kinda get into this mode in a congregation prayer where you're talking by rote, you know how each person kinda gets a set of words and phrases that they consistently use at the opening and close. that makes me nervous cuz im not really thinking about what im saying...
mox
Two elders at my hall got into an arguement during the service meeting.
The elder at the podium was giving a "special needs" talk about remodeling our hall. One elder in the audience raised his hand and questioned the reasons for remodeling. He thought the hard old chairs were just fine. "Why, back in the old days, we didn't need fancy this or that....The elder at the podium said sarcasticly, "Well, brother old fashioned, why don't we just go back to horse and buggies?"
These two old farts went back and forth like this for about ten minutes. Everyone stared wide-eyed expecting fisticuffs at any moment. I was a young dub at the time, and couldn't believe that "Jehovah's people" would act like this during a meeting. I would have thought that the elders discussed these things before the meeting. Guess not.
TR
Ok, well since you asked here goes. Now this is how I’ve heard the story and I think I have it pretty much down.
They were living in Alaska at the time and it was really really cold. The pipes at the KH had frozen so Gramps and another brother went with these blowtorches to thaw them out, that’s what they do up there. Well I guess the insulation or what not caught on fire, so they called the fire dept. They came but stopped a few blocks short because it was out of city limits, so they had to call county well it took longer and the fire was growing. It was sooooo cold that by the time the truck got there it was frozen, as was the first truck. So at this point there was nothing they could do and watched it burn down. HAHHAHAAHH!! Knowing gramps I bet he ran to the store and bought hot dogs and marshmallows!!! Crazy guy!
Venice
Moxy,
whew. so i'm not the only one
Venice,
Sounds like a case of divine intervention with the trucks freezing. heehee
riz
When I was in my zealous days for the WTS, I was given the "privilege"
of doing a WT & Awake demo.
Offering the mags to my partner I said, "I would really like to leave these Bable base Publication with you, just for 15p to cover printing costs. The more I tried to say Bible the hard I found it. Years later I now know I was right the first attempt. :)
On another occasion offering the WT about the Golden rule, all I could say was "the WT is talking about turning the other Cheek, you know....do to others before they can do it to you! hurmmm I mean... do to others before they do it to you! The more I tried, again the harder it was to remember Jesus words. The cong was in hysterics.
On Field sevice too. In the UK it's OK to go to peoples back doors (where we are it is anyway), on some houses there are outside toilets ....sorry "bathrooms", U.S. I knock on this back door, only to hear a voice from the toilet say, "hello I am in here, I am busy"!
Quick as a flash I said (in other words without thinking) "Oh ok then we'll let you GET ON, bye, We'll perhaps call back another time, when you will be less busy"
That's MY funny slip ups. Hope you like em.
I don't get asked to do demos anymore.
Ohh here's another funny one Mulan reminded me of.
Last year at the KH my niece was 1 1/2. This really heavy sister came in wearing a Purple dress. My niece pointed to her and said really loud, "Barney"!
Everyone around her about died, fortunetly the barney look-a-like didn't hear.
Venice
That is so funny Venice,
I have one to add in that department. During the break between the Public Talk and WT, my son (he was 3yrs. old at the time) and I were in line to drink at the water fountain. This large sister (I know she weighs at least 500lbs, height 6') was behind us. She spoke asking him how was he doing and all... he then ask her, "I just want to know how much do you weigh, you are the largest person I have ever seen. I gave him this strange look and he say to me, Mom, for real, I want to know.
This is a non KH related story. I was headed into the drug store (pharmacy) and there were two teenagers walking behind this very large female. They were saying 500, 600, a ton, etc. and laughing hysterically (sp). I didn't realize what was going on at the time....but once I was in the store I passed this lady and she had on a sweetshirt with the designer name Guess on it. I almost wet my pants laughing...
Happy to be Free (Me)
Hi everyone,
This is my first post here, but had to respond to this one.
The funniest thing I heard recently at the Kingdom Hall was at the last memorial I attended 2 years ago. A very old brother was asked to give the prayer over the bread, and he said "Thank you Jehovah for sending us your son to die on the CROSS for us".
I thought that was appropriate for the last time I ever set foot in the place.
think41self
This is not elder fodder material - but the funniest truth.
A very sweet gentle mother had two hellion sons (and husband not in organ.). She'd take them to meetings/service where they'd fist fight/ ect., (about 7/9 years old). In KH meeting, she finally got disgusted with one of them, swooped him in her arms to go spank him. She had him in her arms, but couldn't move down the aisle. She thought he had grabbed a chair to stop her. Unbeknownst to her, he had the elder in the next isle by the arm. When she jerked the kid to let loose, the elder flopped to the ground in amazement. She was amazed too and hurried to the back ignoring the stunned elder.
This same kid became a pioneer & ms (go figure.) By then, another mother had a *real* hellion boy 5 yrs. old. He came running to the back, ms grabbed his collar and told him "either sit down and shut up or I'm going to stick your head in the toilet and hold it there with my foot."
I am now holding my hands high (when not typing) saying "not that I agree with this treatment..." but I laughed sooooo hard. That is one kid who would have deserved it. The ms just shrugged and said the threat usually worked.
waiting
I was told this story from a Bethelite. One time Lyman Swingle was in an elevator with a brother and the brother told him how horrible it was that many of the other Bethelites would use profanity at work. He asked Swingle what he thought about it.
Swingle lowered his head and shook it back and forth and said, "Oh, shit..."
Farkel
