Elders' Gems of Wisdom (page 7)

waiting

Last week at a large wedding, the couple decided not to have an open bar. The reception was catered at a clubhouse, the bar was not opened. The reason why no liquor was that people could buy their own liquor if the bar was open to any person.

The just-left bethel groom felt that he had to be responsible for all 200 people there and couldn't watch effectively all drinkers. Therefore he was going to assign a brother to stand next to the bar to watch all drinkers and how much they drank - and to keep them from drinking any more than he thought was appropriate.

It was finally decided just not to open the bar - take no chances that people couldn't control themselves. So much for trusting adults to act mature.

*************

A visiting speaker used the example that jw's should be like an old wagon train under attack by Geronomo. He equated this famous warrior with Satan who was attacking us. [8>]

waiting

larc

Waiting,

I think they didn't open the bar because they were too darn cheap. Anymore, when I hear a JW spoken spiritual motive, I look for an ulterior motive underneath.

hippikon

I suppose you know that Israel is waterd by a heavy Jew.

BadAssociate

hi rizzy - off the subject -

somewhere around here i think i remember reading mention of u and darkclouds in the same breath

are u 2 an item?

anyway reason why i ask is that i havent noticed any posts by clouds recently and i thought he wrote some gooduns

are u in touch with clouds?

BADASSOCIATE

Bad Associates Are Wicked Fun

waiting

hey larc,

I think they didn't open the bar because they were too darn cheap. -larc

Oh, they weren't going to pay for the liquor - the guests would have to buy their own! But the groom still felt obligated to post a *mature* brother to stand guard to stop anyone from buying their own drink and drinking too much - in his opinion.

I think the consensus was that it would look really stupid to supervise guests in such a manner. But they wanted to follow the WTBTS guidelines ensuring the non-drunkeness of their guests - so they just made sure they didn't drink at all.

waiting

Mr Angry

Hi all,

In our cong. the elder who was the WT conductor was giving the public talk on the particular week (in March/April 1985) when the study article on masturbation.

The elder replacing him that day to conduct the study (and not noted for being able to string 2 articulate sentences together) opened with the remarks. "I was more than happy to step in for Bro. XXX today but to my horror of all studies I get to conduct it is this one." he continued "But I'll be relieved when I've got this masturbation over with!"

It was about 15 mins before any sense of order came back to the proceedings.

Rick. (Not angry at this particular moment)

waiting

Do y'all realize that this thread has been read almost 2,000 times?

My experience goes back to 70's - so I can say "grooovy." Shut up, bell bottoms are back too!

Remember when it was really "frowned upon" to call your kids "kids?" "They were a gift from Jehovah and we should speak and treat them as such." And the brothers were a constant reminder to do this.

I lived in Kokomo, IN. There was one black family in the congregation, he being an elder (not "used much" for some unknown reason?) I loved his family. Brother Sheldon. They had 7(?) kids and one on the way. She was not impressed. She was moaning about her poor 'ol body to him and he, being a man, suggested she just go about her business and pretend she wasn't pregnant. I was told that she stared him down quite successfully until he mumbled and slunk away.

Anyway, she was leaving the KH after night meeting with all in tow. She spoke loudly, "Come on, kids, dad's waiting." A brother kindly reminded her that her "children were gifts from God, and not billygoats."

She stared him down - and calmly said: "I call 'em as I see 'em." Then quite loudly: "Come on kids!"

We were also into healthy granola food back then too. We had a mother/kids gathering. Every kid had granola bars, wheat bread (usually homemade) & healthy whatever inside, fruit, and juice to drink. But this sister was so cool - her kids came with white bread & bologna sandwiches with Twinkies! Man, I wished I had such nerve.

I hope they left the org. - they were really cool people.

waiting

LDH

I am ROTFMAO at Waiting's stories. The wedding story reminded me of my own, and bear with me while I digress.

When The Man [8>] (That's what he calls himself now that I'm pregnant) and I were getting married, we decided to have an open bar. None of his friends were JW, and my parents knew this.

So besides all the grief of planning our wedding by myself, I also had to listen to certain relatives #*$&% and moan about the open bar, and how we were encouraging drunkeness, etc etc etc etc etc.

Well anyhow I finally told my mother (The Head Honker who was breaking wind)---"Look, go if you want, or not. Your call. Jerry's friends are all PROFESSIONAL COUPLES. This is not a college frat party. No one will be getting drunk." With much grumbling all JW relatives showed up.

The country club where we had the reception, we had paid to have open bar for 2 hours following the wedding on the veranda. The banquet manager was so impressed with EVERYONE who showed up that she left the bar open all night at no extra charge! from 6 to 11, and we had only paid for it from 6-8!

I might also add, the most alcholic beverages were consumed by The Head Honker and all of the other JW relative, LOL!

eyes_opened

Then there was the time one of the pioneer sisters in our hall became engaged to be married. I was standing next to brother so and so, who had been an elder for a zillion years and was just about that old. He was conversing with another brother regarding the upcoming nuptials and I kid you not this is what he said..."Well pretty soon there aren't going to be ANY virgins left in the kingdom hall!" needless to say I was a bit dumb struck hehehe. This was when I was still rather young and silly and thought elders were super human. That cured me

Eyes

unanswered

waiting, mr. angry, lisa, eyes-roflmao-this thread just keeps getting funnier and funnier. i love these stories, keep them coming, all-nate

Elders' Gems of Wisdom

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