Elders' Gems of Wisdom (page 8)

riz

eyes,

you had virgins in your hall? where are you from? heehee

riz

ps i agree with nate. this just keeps getting better.

I was sitting in C-school and raised my hand to read a scripture. Not sure which one it was, but it was talking about wanting your neighbor's ass. When I read that, my friend sitting next to me smirked and I let loose. After about a minute of my laughing too hard to finish the verse, someone else was called on to finish it off....I still have to laugh when I remember that one.

BadAssociate

hey bad association - why dont u come up with an original name?

BADASSOCIATE

dmouse

Funniest thing I ever saw was at Dudley assembly hall in the mid 80s. They had a little pool at the front for baptisms. One candidate slipped on the steps on the way in and did a swallow dive into the pool!
We had an old elder who used to break wind profusely when he stood up at the end of the book study to say the prayer! Jeez, how I managed not to do myself an injury stifling my laughter I’ll never know!

riz

welcome to the board, dmouse!
thank you for posting those funny stories. i hope to hear much more from you in the future.

riz
(still chuckling)

stephenw20

I will state this as wisdom................

in 1985 My dad after having been the cheese......left his book bag filled with the publications, in the hall and proceeded nto never again visit the congregation.

of course a few years later....he felt the need and came back.......but he wont do the elder thang no more..........

well he was wise for a few years anyway! poor guy
I love the fela!
S

dmouse

Oh yes, once when I was 'doing the sound' I sat next to a brother who had the ‘privilege’ of counting the attendance. He wrote on his piece of paper to hand to the speaker:

Pubic talk – 105
Watchtower - 103

The speaker just smirked, said 'public' talk and carried on. Nobody else except myself knew why I had the giggles.

truman

deleted

waiting

Back in Indianapolis, the congregation had a lot of old sisters. One of them lived in a second floor apartment (had to use stairs.) A brother & sister would take her to meetings. She was about 75.

The brother would help the sister walk up the stairs when returning her home. She was *rather* large, so he had to walk behind her, and she was slow - one. step. at. a. time.

Well, half way up the stairs, her panties fell down around her ankles, and the brother was right *behind* her. She stopped, saw what happened, bent down (from her waist) and pulled them up and started walking slowly up the stairs. He said he saw more than he ever wanted to see of a 75 year old behind.

Neither of them ever mentioned it to each other. But we all sure heard about it!

Same sister sat by us at the assembly. She got up to go to the restroom. I was sitting by a young mother, and I asked to hold her baby for a while for her. When the old sister came back and sat down, she looked at me, laughed, and said, "you are quick, aren't you?"

waiting

BadAssociate

rizzy - got your email and have replied
BADASSOCIATE

Elders' Gems of Wisdom

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