Howdy Pooh
Dont join, just agree to disagree.
This is the best advice in this thread, and it comes from Brummie the wisest kitty around. If you go ahead and get baptized, you will experience nothing but grief. I'm sorry to hear you are being cut off from your family, but this will only get worse if you "progress" and actually join the religion. As far as the elders in that congregation, be diplomatic, but firm. Tell them you understand their teachings but you just don't agree. If you need some talking points that will leave them flummoxed, just start another thread and we can provide you with some ammunition.
That's the easy part. The more difficult road for you will be your relationship with your husband. If he is committed to staying a Witness, then you need to tread a fine line between disagreeing and arguing. Although it is not common, it has happened that a Witness marries a non-believer. It is possible to keep a good relationship but he will continue to put pressure on you to join. Again, do not do this. Also, consider this if you guys are contemplating starting a family. He will undoubtedly want to raise them as JWs, and to be a Witness child in school is brutal.
You've got a tough road Pooh, but if you can state your position calmly, consistently and firmly you can probably keep the marriage together. I've known couples before that were married for many years whilst one was a non-believer. It can happen, but it's very difficult for the non-JW spouse.
Good luck.