HELP ME... (page 6)

teejay

THERE ARE ALOT OF THINGS I JUST CANT UNDERSTAND BUT I GUESS IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN SIX MONTHS. MY PROBLEM IS THAT MY HUSBAND EXPECTS ME TO JUST ACCEPT ALL THESE CHANGES NO PROBLEM. BUT IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS I HAVE BASICALLY LOST MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND HAD MY WHOLE LIFE TURNED AROUND. WHAT SHOULD I DO????

As much as you might love your husband, you should love yourself, too. Love of others should never displace the love we should always have for self. Listen to ALL of your heart and not just that part that says you love your husband. If you don't already, you will soon know what to do.

northern girl

It's hard to believe so many nonJWs giving Pooh advice. She DID ask for JWs to respond. I'm no better because I'm df'd but at least I told her to give the JWs a listen before making up her mind. Considering this site is listed under false pretenses as a Forum for JWs and there aren't a lot of open minds here either. If you are a "Simon Says" adherent you are Aok but otherwize you get attacked. Now that's off my chest I'll fend off the verbal blows.

Aztec

It's hard to believe so many nonJWs giving Pooh advice. She DID ask for JWs to respond.

There aren't too many active JW's posting here so this thread would've likely died had all of us non JW's simply refused to respond. And why shouldn't we give her our advice as well? She didn't ask for only JWs to respond.

I'm no better because I'm df'd but at least I told her to give the JWs a listen before making up her mind.

I think you've made that abundantly clear.

Considering this site is listed under false pretenses as a Forum for JWs and there aren't a lot of open minds here either

Why so judgmental?

If you are a "Simon Says" adherent you are Aok but otherwize you get attacked.

You've obviously not checked out much of the forum to make a ludicrous statement such as that.

Now that's off my chest I'll fend off the verbal blows.

What verbal blows are you talking about? Every post on this thread has been kind to you. Questioning perhaps, but still kind. Sorry, but that ends with me. Your post was flippant, condescending and rude.

Please do go back to the Kingdom Hall. I think you'll fit right in.

~Aztec

northern girl

Aztec: You are absolutely right about one thing ... not too many active JWs in sight here as one would suppose from the site heading. If you would reread Poohs post, you will see that she specificly asks for help from JWs, so she obviously thought there might be a few around here.

wednesday

NG,

if u have a problem witth the site, contact Simon. U can PM him. there are other jw sites out there , u are welcome to join them.

No one has been rude to u yet, but your whinny attitude is childish.

If pooh has problems with the advice given, she can pm the posters.

edited to add, here is the thread they are discussing this.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/54624/1.ashx

northern girl

Wednesday: You make a great point! I have been doing far too much (whinnying). I thank all of you for a few fun filled days though.

peacefulpete

When men are left by a girl friend it is much more difficult to deal with for them then if they did the leaving. The problems in the relationship are forgotten. I imagine it is similar for women. The haunting sense of failure is often confused as evidence of a loving relationship that would have worked out "if only" they had done something different. Men often pine for years over someone who was entirely wrong for them only because they were not the one to end it.

Disfellowshipping works the same way. So much emotional investment is in the cult that those who are expelled feel like dismal failures. This is even tho thy truly had no faith in the cult or may have even been disgusted with it. A typical method of mind control is to link self worth with the opinion of the group. This way the only way to prove that they are not failures is to return to them and regain their approval. If he continues to be reinstated,in a short time he will likely become again disillusioned and be disfellowshipped again. Most disfellowshipped people eventually are disfellowshipped again due to this cycle of seeking approval yet not ever really feeling a part of the group.

It may be useful to recognise that what he longs for is not so much becoming a JW again and performing the tasks required of him as one, as much as his need to feel good about himself. He is not a worthless failure, he needs to believe that. Learning about cult techniques will help you to help him. The American Family Foundation (AFF)web site has valuable on site information about mind control and it's symptoms. As for your changing of doctrinal beliefs I cannot offer advice that you would welcome.

northern girl

peaceful pete : Did you pick that name for yourself? It suits you to a T. Are you a mediator in your other life? Either this site is very addictive or I have too much time on my hands.

I understand all about cult mentality and indoctrination ... neither apply in my case (believe me !!!!) I just have a healthy hope of reinstatement and truly enjoy life each day. It was my total addiction (again) to cigarettes that got me in this situation and after many years of trying to quit it was only through prayer that I was able to.

northern girl.

badolputtytat

I am sorry to hear about another situation like this. Foremost: Educate yourself completely on the Witnesses. When they speak or read to you, learn ABOUT them, not FROM them.

You will find that NOTHING they do is out-right. There is always a back door they slip into. A smile or kind word, is ALWAYS a means to "get started" with you.

The dangers of your situation: This organization abides by archaic ideals about marriage. Your husband is YOUR head. If you disagree with him or point out any falsehoods, he is within his "rights" to bring you before a council of elders. Your behaviour will NOT be tolerated, as it is his "christian duty" to instruct/correct/punish you.

If your husband becomes a fully Active JW, then I am sorry to be blunt with you... But you may as well get yourself a good attorney. Your husband will tell you that all the people on this site are people with grudges and people out to destroy Jehovah's plan. I know... you love your husband dearly... but keep reading some of the older posts and you will find so many people thought they could trust their loved ones, with their children, with their feelings, with their fragile emotions.

Dont take anyone's word for it.. here or anywhere else... See for yourself. If you take my word for it.. there will always be doubt in your mind. Bluntly ask him what he would do if you chose not to associate with JW's.... pay no attention to his answer. The elders will work him over, any loyalty he thought he had to YOU will be quickly dis-membered. He will be contstantly reminded that you are some sort of lost sheep. Their "brain washing" techniques are proven methods. They will "feel sorry" for him because his mate will not accept the "truth". It will be an emotional thing for him, and he will be made to feel that he has a whole organization (and god) on his "side", protecting him from ... YOU.

logansrun

Northern girl,

Let me make this so simple a third-grader could understand: you want to be a JW again....JWs are not supposed to be here....what should you do?

Bradley

HELP ME...

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