Just a thought ... my brain is kinda numb today, so I hope it makes sense. ;)
Briefly, I'll say that I learned ZERO social skills as a born-in JW. That's just me and my family.
From the time I can remember, I was taught that everyone else was ruled by Satan.
So, when I went to school, picture it ... little 5 YO girl, looking at all the other kids, knowing they are demonized *shudder*, and the teachers and everyone else who was not from the KH.
As a little kid, I really believed it. I had nightmares all the time, still do.
Also, as a JW we are taught we are better than everyone else, while at the very same time we are taught that we are imperfect and will never measure up.
For many years, I remained unconnected to other people. Cognitive dissonance lingered. Then, I met a woman thru work who epitomized unconditional love. She is still my friend, and one of the most loving, straight forward (she'll tell you when you need to be told!) people I know.
She love-bombed me. But her love-bombing was real. She taught me that I was lovable. From then on, which was 12 years ago, I have been much better at friendship and socialization. Because I had finally learned, that I was lovable.
I had learned that being imperfect = humanity. Now I know that I do measure up.
Once I could accept myself, warts and all, I could start looking at others the same. No longer judging them because they did not meet my standards (whether consciously or not). I also started to feel more comfortable in social situations because I had more self-confidence.
There is also the need to be right, an important JW trait (and yes, you don't have to be JW to have it, but most JWs are like this, ref. political threads hehe) that I'd like to get into, but energy is gone atm.
It's a journey, and we will all get there if we remain self-aware and open to change.
Really enjoying this thread.
t
