social retard

by MerryMagdalene 124 Replies latest jw friends

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Great topic Merry M.

    Even though I spent the majority of my adult life trying to get in the door of the Kingdom Hall, from the age of thirteen to finally having crossed the border at 33, for those years in between, even though I was in the bosom of the world, the world still never acquired my complete trust.

    The world, because Jehovah's Witness indoctrination, was a place that I could not relate to. Despite the fact that I was in the midst of it. I'd come to be a misfit, in real life, and within the walls of the Kingdom Hall.

    My revolving door processing thru the years only made the witnesses suspicious of my true motives, and as far as the world goes, I was never able to effectively relate to them, either. I was preconditioned to view them as bad, evil and of not much value as human beings to even socialize with.

    Now that I'm out, it is one of the greatest challenges that I face when wanting to share in the worlds activities, social gatherings, one on one hanging out to play video games, even my worldly family members are put on hold, birthday parties and holidays, are often forced, though I usually can find the room to let go and the social excursion often takes on a life of its own. It has been one of the greatest challenges to living, however, no longer being a practicing Jehovah's Witness.

    One of the only gracious outlets that exist is the world of employment, there I can at least socialize, although enforced on account of the fact that we are required to be in the prescense of each other, yet even there it has a tendency to be superficial, as those for the most part I've been employed with have rarely been regarded as friend worthy, and that's from both sides of the street. Though in my life there have been a select few that I was able to forge relationships with apart from the job, they for the most part have been few and far between.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet
    I did not lead a double life and would never have dreamed of going out behind my parents' back for social time. The few times someone tried to arrange social events for teens, it was promptly quashed by the elders--especially my own father.

    Odrade:

    Snap! That exactly describes how it was in our congregation!

    Jez are sure this was a witness congregation and not some other religion you attended? LOL! I like what you said about not being a hypocrite, perhaps you weren't, but weren't forced to be one either. I'm not trying to squeeze everyone into the same box or resenting you for having had a better experience, but if it was so good why did you leave? What I am trying to do is find experiences on this board that I can empathise with and learn from other people's experiences how they got over them so that I can too.

    Diamondblue - thank you for springing to my defences - true Brit spirit! hehe.

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974
    Diamondblue - thank you for springing to my defences - true Brit spirit! hehe.

    LMAO...yeah right...*puts away batman outfit*

    It wasnt just your defences Crumpet, it was a general overall feeling about the post to be honest.

    Jez, no offence meant ok? I know I can 'tell it like it is' and in fact more than often do, your experiences are equally valuable and the healthy debate is to be encouraged.

    See you round

    DB

  • Jez
    Jez

    Crumpet: I didn't leave, I was kicked out. I sent you a PM.

    Diamond: It is not ME that minds a healthy discussion. I love it. If not, I would have been like the 700ish people the checked out this thread, then did not say anything. Do you really think I am the only one that saw a different perspective? I just could not resist the temptation to state it. I don't give a f*** if ppl attack/disagree/challenge/discuss ANYTHING. I ALWAYS grow/learn/gain understanding from any and every kind of conversation.

    Cheers. Jez

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Well,Well look what I missed nearly a fight!!

    I am as you ALL know by now going to be 78 soon. So I am going to say it as it is!! ( what else is new)
    Jez I was a JW for 25 years a good one. !!!! You my darling was a JW ( in my opinion) that I would have told my daughter to stay away from.Why!!! seems to me you thought independently a NO! NO! in the "loving" organisation....
    My heart aches for most of you on here especially Sherry((((HUG)) I believe JWS did a real job on you all. How can I say that? Because my Melanie( you all know she died at 42 yrs old breast cancer) was so shy, yet I am VERY outgoing!!! but I stunted her because of following a false prophet. I did ALL it said.... No Birthdays, no sports at school, no Christmas- even making her an outcast because she would NOT participate in the celebrations at school,ANYTHING the WT said was evil!!!! When I left the" BIG O"she told me of her nightmares , fears etc: YES ALL TAUGHT BY THE WATCHTOWER with ME as its messanger.........
    Jez I am happy for you that your mind was NOT completely captured .....You are the ONLY one I KNOW who has seemed ? to escaped without scares..... Glad you have a smart Hubby . Grace >>>>or maybe to you> undeserved kindness ( smile)

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    please,anyone who blames a person raised in the cult for having certain "issues " socially is just trying to cover up for the organization.Even the times I hung around with my "worldly " friends,I was still told,"don't get close to them,there going to die at armegeddon".The WTBTS is a twisted mental fuckfest for children.It stunts physical,mental and emotional growth.Anyone who says otherwise can kiss my white ass.

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    When I was DF'd @ 18, l was a total mess. I had to move out of my parents house and get my own apartment (I was still in High School @ the time), get a job, (I had previously worked for my father), and make new friends( 98% of everyone that I knew and cared about were JW's). I had no idea how to interact with people properly. I was shy, had no self-esteem, and felt like a complete dork. I married the first girl I met @ 19 just to have something to cling to. I had no business being in a relationship because I was basically raised to be a cheavanistic prick. I would go to parties and tell people that I was a Navy SEAL and stupid shit like that because I thought it would make folks think I was a cool guy. It took a long time to get where I am today. Nowadays when I tell people that I grew up JW, they usually say they don't believe it. I take great pride in that. I pretty much had to re-raise myself and develop whole new thought processes and a new set of manners. I had to drop all my stupid prejudices and really learn to take life for what it is. My Grandma asked me not too long ago why I don't try to get re-instated and how I must be miserable without Jehober in my life. I replied that I am 100 times happier and healthier than I ever was in the Borg, and that is all the proof I need that the JW way of life is not for me. I look back and can't believe how immature and underdeveloped I was. I see the same thing in my sister who just turned twenty ( she behaves like she's about 12).

    Anyway, sorry to ramble on and on. I just think it's really sad that generations of people are growing up without the skills they need to make it in the world. Pathetic.

    -Breck

  • stopthepain
    stopthepain

    thanks for that reply breck!It's funny how you can see the same exact pattern in your life when you read someone elses experience.My sister,19,totally immature jdub.Insecurity is the number 1 trait of being raised in a cult.IMO

  • Golf
    Golf

    MM, the light bulbs went on for me the night they expelled me! It was a glorious moment. Their 'loveless' actions set me free. No way was I disappointed in getting expelled. They did me a favor without them realizing it.


    Golf

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    No no no no!!!! The PROBLEM is that your some sort of cat/woman thingy! Meeeeeow!

    Life as a witness sucks life after being a witness is hard because of what you went through... Keep your whiskers up babe it will get better! Hell next time you get down florida way look me up I'll go out to the milk bar with ya!!!

    See you have friends they are just weird friends!

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