social retard (page 7)

seven006

Jez,

You were lucky, good for you. I can feel both jealous and envious for your experience as a teenage JW. My childhood sucked but I mastered the art of a double life existence as a teenager. I learned a lot about life and it's cult influenced effects on an unwilling participant. That experience has helped me be more understanding and continually look for the reason behind the reason people are the way they are and feel the way they feel.

As it has already been pointed out in this thread a lot of our own personal concept of freedom or our perceived social standing was determined by our individual congregations and their view of what was socially right or wrong. You can also add in our own perception of ourselves both physically and emotionally as well as any psychological glitches we may have had, or still have. What makes up our own view of ourselves has more variables than just our congregation, even though it can be a large factor. What a small town rural congregation may see as "worldly" a big city congregation may see as harmless. I have attended both. Big city congregations seem to have more fun, the small rural ones seem to make the best canned fruit.

I spent half of my time as a JW in a small rural congregation, the other half in a more liberal bigger one. That showed me two different concepts of JW life. A more narrow minded, small town, self righteous, outlook on life and also the possibility of a bit more open minded and less restricted one. That combination made me understand different perspectives on the varying psychological grasp the cult had on me and others, and realize that they both exist in the same mental vacuum.

That was over twenty years ago. Iv learned a lot about myself as well as other people in that time. Time is a great teacher. Experience is it's ever changing manual. I can understand Mary's thoughts and feelings as well as I can understand yours. Both are dependent on your individual experience in life and each is true to that experience. Neither is right or wrong, it just "is." Understanding that is what helps us become and individual. That is hard to do as it is different for each of us because we were raised as a people, not a person.

This is a great thread. The open dialog is what this place is all about.

Dave

MerryMagdalene

Right on, GBL !!!

~Merry

mkr32208

Jez- You had a "Worldly boyfriend?" You "Played sports in school" I'm glad that you had a normal life but the reality is YOU WERE NOT A WITNESS YOUTH!!!

It's great that you were "true to yourself" thats wonderful! Unfortunaly you WERE NOT A WITNESS YOUTH THEN!!!!! Being true to the WATCHTOWER makes you a witness youth! In my hall if you had tried to do half the things you did you WOULD HAVE BEEN DF'ED OR MARKED! Lots of people on this site tried to do the right thing as witlesses and DENIED themselves EVERYTHING! For you to come along and say "well you should have been worldly like me" is unbelievable! Of course we should have been worldly LIKE EVERYONE ELSE then we wouldnt' be having this discussion! If any of us had it to do over of course we would leave this cult and have had a life but we don't and we can't do it over so quit lording it around that you were worldly and never an honest Jw kid!!!!!!!!

IF YOU HAD AND DID THE THINGS YOU SAID YOU WERE WORLDLY YOU WERE NOT A WITNESS!!!

Big Dog

I hope I don't get hammered here but I want to add one thought if anyone can stand it. Anytime there is a thread about growing up JW the expressions "double life" and "hypocrite" are thrown around alot and I'd like to comment on that. For those of us that were born into the faith we had no choice about how we were going to be raised, the only choice we had (maybe) was how we were going to react to it. It seems to me children raised JW fall into 3 categories: 1) Children that totally bought into the program, really believed and wanted to please God, and their parents, etc. and followed the rules of the organization because they thought it was right; 2) Children that at the hall acted the part they knew they had to play to win their parent's approval and not have their life turned possibly into a living hell and acted another way at school and outside the kingdom hall, the way they felt "normal"; 3) Children (of which I am of this group) that never bought into the program for whatever reason (no moral superiority is implied here) and acted pretty much the same way at the KH as they did anywhere else and depending on their parents and KH caught varying degrees of hell for it.

Now my understanding of a hypocrite is one that professes one idea yet practices another, the closest group to that would be group 2, but I don't see them as hypocrites really, they were born into the faith, they did not join of their own accord, so they were doing what they thought they had to do to get by and possibly keep their sanity. Yes, living a double life as people are sometimes forced to when trapped in an unyielding rigid social structure, so I would not label them hypocrites in the way I would an adult who joins of their free will, professes the faith yet does something else in private.

So, I ask that people be a little more gentle with the labels hypocrite and double life, etc. when talking about us poor slobs that were born into the WBTS lifestyle and did what we had to do.

prophecor

so let's tear down those illusory walls between us, respect where each other is coming from (whether we understand it or not) and have a big old on-line aposta-love-fest

Are ya with me? I second that emotion!!!

~Merry (of the I'm in love, can't you tell? class)

Jez

The problem is that you have barrelled into this thread and insinuated that if any of us claim that the JW upbringing screwed up our ability to have normal social interaction, we must be deluded and it's really a flaw in our own characters, and to get over it and stop blaming the JWs because it had nothing to do with them. I know you did not exactly SAY those words, but that was the cumulative effect. Your subsequent posts indicate that you stand by that opinion.

Odrade: Calm down. Take your anger out on someone else and stop using me as a convienent target. You are right, I did not SAY those words. What you have stated above are YOUR thoughts. I certainly care about the experiences of everyone here and have grown to love/respect many ppl on this board. I already apologized to MERRY if I offended her. YOU have seen fit to take on a little side battle of your own with no prompting from MERRY at all. What is your agenda? I would never say to someone to "Get over it and stop blaming JWs because it had nothing to do with them." Amazing how people can twist and bend someone elses words until they fit into your own perspective. Please read with a critical eye and be careful of any leftover 'cult' mentality of your own ability to twist and add meaning where you see fit.

Dave: I agree 100% with what you said. It 'just is'.

mkr: Stop yelling at me. I never ever ever said "you should have been worldly like me". LOL! I am being attacked here for stating my experience as a teenager. It was not wonderful, but only do I realize that by looking back as an adult. Only now do I realize how abnormal of a life I had, living it though was quite different. I thought nothing twice of being a JW and doing other non-JW stuff. Please allow me to learn from my experience from sharing it with others. That is what this board is all about. IF I need to readjust my thinking, well I have elderette Odrade to make sure I do, you are not needed. I WAS a JW, please don't be so presumptuous as to assume to know my life. It seems people here are angry that I claim to have been raised as a JW???????? What's it to you?

BigDog: Thanks for those insightful words about the meaning of hypocrisy etc. Ppl assume that I should have known better as a teenager and therefore do not have the RIGHT to call myself a witness...LOL. Want to join me in a big online apostafest of love? (Hugging BD)

Cheers Jez