by run dont walk 99 Replies latest jw friends
toughest question anyone can ask, if the love of your life, and mate/wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend messed around on you, whether it be once or for years, how would you handle it and what would you do, think about it slowly and carefully.
wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
It's said that 50 % of marriages are affected by an affair, it's probaly alot higher.
Did you notice any affairs in your congregation ???
I look back now, and think, oh yeah there was.
Divorce, no question. They can't love you that much to cheat on you.
I believe I would try to ask good questions and really really listen...if he was willing to talk about it...If I truly believed this was the love of my life it would be worth trying to figure it all out...
~Merry
I went through this. I forgave the first time, but when it came up again, we both knew there was no future. Of course, we weren't dubs at the time either. I made that mistake all on my own.
As The_classicist said, they can't really love you all that much.
I'm not a huge fan of marriage these days, so its highly unlikely I'll ever bother with it again, but if I somehow met someone I considered to be my soulmate, overcame all of my resistance to getting married, and he ended up cheating....That marriage would be over in a heartbeat. I refuse to waste time anymore on a lost cause.
Affairs aren't always about sex, even for men. My first husband did this to me. I had nightmares for six months afterwards. It was extremely painful. But after the pain I began to be introspective. I examined his motives. I came to the conclusion that his motives were much more than the sex. I could have forgiven him at that point had he not had a severe drug problem that he would not get help for.
It would depend on the circumstances - a one-off thing, or a long term deception - and whether he wanted to still be with me. I have always felt that infidelity would not be sufficient reason for me to write off a relationship. However, I do think that it would take tremendous effort to rebuild the trust and intimacy following such a betrayal.
There is a lot more to marriage vows than "forsaking all others".
I have a friend who found out her BF had cheated on her. She forgave him because she was afraid of going on in life without him. But she has some SERIOUS trust issues now. I find it very sad.
I have thought about this question before and we have even discussed. I told my husband that if cheated on me that would be it -- I can't imagine living in a marriage without trust -- it would no longer be a marriage.
Purza
Dump her. I could never stay with someone I knew had slept around on me.
GBL
I have thought about this question before and we have even discussed. I told my husband that if cheated on me that would be it
You really don't know how you will react until you go through it though. Seriously, I felt the same way until it happened to me. Some marriages are worth fighting for. Just ask Loretta Lynn who sang, "You ain't woman enough to take my man!"
Well...............
I have often thought about this. My husband and I have talked about it too. I told him if he cheated on me I would be very hurt and I would loose trust. However, I am a very forgiving person. This I know. I would take him back and try and get through it together because I love him so much. I would think how or why he did it. I would ask if I was a good wife and if I needed to work on anything. I would ask him if I drove him away or if I wasn't loving enough. I would basically try and work through it together.
If he did it again. I would ruin him financially for at least 15 years. I would make sure everything and anything he made from his check I would get and I would make him suffer for hurting me so. I would still let him be in his children lives and I would be cordial because of the children and try not to ever let my anger for him get in the way of them loving him because he is their father. However, I would make sure that he would know he hurt me and I would make him pay dearly.
He then was scared and said he would never cheat on ME!
Brooke
