beckyboop

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Posts by beckyboop

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  29

  non-jw family might hire jw nanny--r we crazy?

  by fred in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  we are a non-jw family with 2 kids under 5 thinking about hiring a jw live in nanny.

  she is in her 30's, active jw.

  we all have talked about mutual respect for each others religions, and all agreed to a hands off policy.

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  beckyboop

  Hello all,

  I was a nanny for 5 years to 2 families, both non-jw. The first family I was with I was still very much "in", but very close to leaving time-wise. The 2d family was during the aftermath. Since I was a nanny, I thought I'd speak up.

  I think you should think it thru very carefully before deciding anything. It's not necessarily a bad thing, because you set the rules. You can maintain a close watch, and be diligent about asking your children what was said/done during the day. That way you can counteract anything that may cause your children to think of her as "better" because of her religion--which is their goal.

  That said, I still would be careful. For the most part, she would probably make a very trustworthy nanny. Make sure she is very qualified like you would for anyone. But, and this is a big but, I did try to influence the children I cared for from time to time. I have been sitting here trying to remember, and I most definitely did. Especially when it came to holidays and birthdays. Of course, in my case, that changed with the 2d family because I left. However, if your children are well balanced and can accept that not everyone is like them, then you may be able to have a great nanny. Who knows, since you come on this forum, you may be able to help her in the future.

  I hope that I've helped at least a little--just trust in your ability to make a good decision for you and for your family. I would never want to discriminate against anyone, but be prepared if you decide to do it. We are always here to help you whatever you decide.

  Becky
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  67

  Too much bad language, sex & pics

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please can everyone think twice before they make posts containing bad language (even if not directed at individuals), graphic sex talk and nude or semi-nude pictures (especially if explicit).

  this is not what the forum is here for.

  if you want to post stuff like that then there are lots of places on the internet for it and, more importantly, if people want to see and read stuff like that then they are quite capable of going to these places themselves.. i know everyone likes to 'let their hair down' now and again, me included, and i like pictures of sexy women as much as anyone .

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  beckyboop

  Hello Simon and all,

  I've really enjoyed reading what you all have written so far, because you seem to have very good intentions as to the purpose of this board. It is a wonderful place for us to vent, to heal, to grow, and the most importantly, to be able to think for ourselves.

  However, here is my problem: this board is for self-expression, and unfortunately for any jw's who may visit, that is going to seem negative to them. Too bad, I say, for we've been lied to all our life, and for some of us, that may come out in very negative ways (KJV comes to mind, no offence), until we make the steps forward to get past the negativity. Am I wrong in thinking that this board is for us? If they (the jw's) come here, then they'll see we are real.

  In regard to the sex threads, that too is something we've NEVER been able to talk about freely. At times we do get carried away, for whatever reason. I think we should have a specific place (the password idea is a good one) in the forum for those topics. If someone complains, tell them to leave--it's their choice. The pictures don't have to be graphic here--there are definitely many places they can go to for that.

  It just seems IMHO that it's way to easy for people to complain about topics and such, and that's a little too close to our old way of thinking--"if I don't like it, it must be wrong". When jw's come here, they may not always find HAPPY people here--it takes a while to get to that point. But if they stick around, they'll realize that we are at least THINKING, and that in itself is a huge step.

  Thanks for the opportunity to express my opinion here. I personally don't want to offend anyone on purpose, but I do hope I'm free to talk about things we were never allowed to talk about before.

  Becky
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  7

  Hypocracy with DFing policy!

  by gumby in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  since the sept. 15th 1983. watchtower about "how to treat disfellowshiped ones", no change in policy has taken place.. in spite of this....many ex-dubs still have family members who still smile, wave, or talk to us.....why?

  did they forget the policy?

  do they have their own opinion on how tht handle this?

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  beckyboop

  Hi all,

  Although I've not been da'd or df'd either, my parents definitely know my view on the borg, and still talk to me too. Don't get me wrong--I wasn't invited to my brother's wedding (his request), and I don't get a lot of phone calls from them. But still--they do talk to me, and are upset when I choose to limit my association with them--for my own sanity.

  As far as whether or not to confront them with it, it will depend on the situation. Sometimes I think that conversations like that help break thru the cognitive dissonance. They won't like it at first, but it does start the mind thinking for a change. Just my 2 cents worth,

  Becky
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  8

  Finding Justice

  by MrMoe in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i want justice.

  but, not in the typical sense.... my life has brought to me many ups and downs, and at times the downs seemed to far out weigh the ups.

  maybe in my past life i reaped a lot of bad karma and now i am paying for it, or perhaps i am getting all of my bad luck over with early in life ---- who knows.... but either way, i want justice, and something tells me it is going to happen... soon... i feel things changing.. since me and my ex have split, i have dated several guys.

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  beckyboop

  Amanda,

  What a beautiful post! I too can relate to your connection to your ex-husband. My ex and I are the best of friends, but aren't supposed to be together now. We both have since moved on in our personal lives, and are much happier and healthier for it.

  I think I read that you are in your mid-twenties online somewhere, so if it doesn't happen right away don't despair. I was almost 34 before I found my other half--and it was while I was finally learning to let go, and love myself. If you are already learning that, then you'll be much more ready for it when it comes along.

  It sounds as if you have come a long way in your personal quest. I too think that we meet and end up with people for a reason; and when it's time, it's ok to let go and move forward. And if you feel that you are going to meet someone again with whom you have a much higher and deeper connection, than you will. I did, and it was worth the wait. I hope I'm around when it happens for you!

  Love,

  Becky
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  14

  Bethel Coach Tours

  by Simon in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm sure many have seen these at some time:.

  http://www.bethelcoachtours.com/english.htm.

  i just noticed on their site that they claim:.

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  beckyboop

  Hey Simon,

  Great post! I've already been talking to some other ex's about visiting Brooklyn in about a month or so. I've been 2 times, about 5 years ago. I'd love to go to NY now though since I'm not a jw anymore. I think I'll enjoy the "city that never sleeps" much more now... If anyone would be interested in visiting, email me and let's come up with some good ideas. For some reason I'd love to go again now that I'm out!

  Becky
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  23

  Question On Blood

  by Frenchy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just recently read a post on another board where a person claiming to be a witness claims that she called the society as was informed by them that it was all right to have one's own blood stored for future use.

  anyone else heard of this?

  am i just slipping behind the times or could she be mistaken about the matter?

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  beckyboop

  Hi Frenchy,

  Yup, you got it right! You can look on the society's official website. I just read it there the other day. It basically said there are no scriptural objections, it's a conscience matter.

  Hmmm...I can't remember what the site is--someone help!

  Becky
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  11

  Newbie experience.....

  by zamzummim in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  what better way to join the board than jumping in with both feet?

  (sorry if it's too long).

  my experience is somewhat similar to the ones i've read here.

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  beckyboop

  Zam,

  What an experience you've had! And it's nice to read that you have learned from the past, instead of letting it control you. I think that even though your past actions may be controversial to some, they obviously had the correct effect for you--you are out now!

  Congratulations on your new life and family, and welcome to the board.

  Becky
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  9

  My Story

  by L_A_Big_Dawg in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i am not sure if i am posting this in the correct forum.

  if not i am sure i will be told.. while, i have hit this site from time-to-time in the past, i have never really frequented it.

  until recently.

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  beckyboop

  ((((((((((((((((LA Big Dawg)))))))))))))))))

  Welcome to the forum! Thanks for sharing your story--it's always heartening to read about the experiences of others here. I hope you enjoy your time spent here.

  Becky
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  21

  My Theory about wild X-JWs

  by zenpunk in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was pondering this theory this morning - what do you all think?.

  a few months ago i went to visit someone from my last congregation who is now also an x-jw.

  what is interesting is that, though completely straight-laced within the congregation, he became absolutely out of control once he left and is now trying to figure out how to get his life together.

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  beckyboop

  I totally agree, and I think Bboy summed it up nicely. We do not want to follow any rules that we don't set for ourselves--especially if they are from some antiquated book(yes, the bible) from a culture a long time ago. While there are things that we can glean from it on how to treat other people, most of it has no application to us today.

  I too had a wild phase, but part of me is wild! And that's ok--I don't hurt or disrespect others in the process. It's a sad shame we didn't get to live our lives at the appropriate time, ie. teenager, college etc. But it's never too late to live your life, no matter how old you are when you leave. Congratulations to all for choosing to live!

  Becky
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  19

  How do you explain it to your spouse?

  by buffy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've been w/ my husband for 2 years, married for 3 months.

  he knows what i went through going throught the df process.

  he saw the horrible time i had dealing w/ loosing my family.

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  beckyboop

  (((((((((((((((((Buffy))))))))))))))))))))

  I am in a similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend now for a year and a half, and all this jw stuff must appear very nutty to him. Although I don't know that he'll ever truly understand, (it's pretty impossible unless you've been there) he cares enough about me to realize that it is a HUGE part of me that will never completely go away.

  One thing that I think has helped him is my involvement with this forum. We do not have a tv, so our computer is our entertainment. We spend our evenings sometimes poking around on the forum, and he's read a lot now on his own due to his curiousity being peaked. We also hosted a local apostafest here in Providence RI, and he got to meet 12 other ex-jw's and hear their stories.

  The more you husband can see that it's not only you, you aren't CRAZY, you may have lots to sort out in your mind etc.; the more he'll realize that it is a very big part of your life. Hopefully he'll get involved enough to be able to be patient thru the roughest times.

  Thanks for posting, it helps so much to read about others and hear what they are going thru, and what helps them get thru it. There are some wonderful posts from people who can express themselves very eloquently. Happy reading! Hope to see you around!

  Love,

  Becky