I think this camel's back is broken (the final straw) (page 6)

flipper

JIMMY- I think your wife's going to the elders is a means to an end of accomplishing something else. Something not even dealing with WHAT you did before you were married. I think your wife is trying to push the point of falling in line with the WT societies organization and she is " using " the alleged " guilt " she feels as a whipping stick to make you fall into line with the program in order to get you " back " into the witnesses. It's like she's grasping at straws , anything, to make you conform again.

It's a way to get you in front of the elders in order for them to counsel you. That's what she wants- in my opinion. I went through this over 10 years ago when I was still married to a witness wife ; and she called the elders on me because we had experimented a little with oral sex. She felt guilty- and called the elders without telling me. Long story short - my trust of her went out the window ( especially after she called my witness guy friends about going down on her reminding her of being molested as a girl ) and the marriage was doomed.

You have to make the decision you feel is best Jimmy- but remember your wife if she is a mind controlled witness is married to Jehovah- not you. And that's a fact that will never change as long as she is an active Jehovah's Witness. Just my take. My marriage to a witness woman did not work, perhaps yours may, but expect problems trying to make an undivided marriage work. Good luck with that

sacolton

Time to throw that gauntlet down, Jimmy ol' boy.

mkr32208

Good luck with it I think how our friends and family treated my wife after I left was the make or break for her so yeah it can work out!

primitivegenius

jp............ i would throw that damn letter in the trash.............. instead i would start makeing up the most sordid sexual tales imagineable........... go to that kangaroo court............ tell them that you were fresh as the driven snow untill your wedding night but have been to embarassed to speak about the things your wife has been subjecting you to............ the whips and chains every night. how they have kept you from meetings because she has you up at all hours doing all the nasty kinky things she forces on you. you feel so embarassed and ashamed that you are afraid that all the brothers and sisters secretly know what she does to you every night.

all i ever wanted brother jones is to be a janitor like you........... with a pioneer wife who i could provide for and cook and clean for. instead i got a closet dominatrix........... she emotionally abuses me and hits me with pillow cases filled with bars of soap.

brother Jones................ sometimes she leaves me tied up in the closet from the minute i walk into the door until its time for me to go back to work................ she forces me to (insert whatever here) all night long............ she even made me do it to her at the kingdum hell when no one was there .............. on the stage............ i felt so dirty, im now in a deep depression........... every time i see that stage i start shaking at the horror...............

lol turn the tables on her, admit to nothing lol. see how she likes it then.

now i will admit it was bulls*** that she did what she did........... but a few years back (or months in some cases) we all would have been forced by our own guilty consciences to do the same thing.

you are your own man......... do what you want with your headship. we are all pissed that she did what she did and we get angry and think it couldnt be us that it happened to............ but the fact is........... what would be accomplished by blowing your ever loving mind. im sure at that moment you wanted to scream at her and tell her that if she repeated any of your conversations you would dip her in tar and roll her in feathers (or worse). probably nothing good could have came from doing any of that, so it is what it is. i hope she realizes........... or does after everything hits the fan.......... that she is the one who caused things to unravel like this instead of in a more controlled way.

end all be all..................... being outted is the best thing in the world............. you just want it to be on your own terms not theirs. then you dont have to put up with the bulls*** any more. real friends will be friends no matter what......... even if you have done things that would normally drive people away.

best wishes............

purplesofa

"You really hate the WT Society, don't you?" she asked.

About the time I started posting here I was dating a JW brother. We were both at about the same place with the organization with our doubts at that time. We talked openly about our concerns, dislikes, disagreements.

One night we were talking more deeply than usual.

He asked the exact same thing to me your wife asked you.

I had never thought about it until he asked me, that I hated them.

But I guess that is how I came across.

He did not take the same course as me, he stayed in the organization and I left.

purps

JimmyPage

(If you let it play out and they DF and perhaps you would prove your point. However, going through the humiliation of these "punishment talks" and subjecting yourself to demeaning questions would not be worth it. They will strip you of your manhood and self governance right in front of your wife. You will forever be belittled in her eyes. They will chew you up and spit you out. You will have no chance to discuss doctrinal issues because YOU are on trial for something else and she put you there.)

For what you will go through if you subject yourself to their authority, you will loose your dignity and be left with self-loathing.

You know what is really sad here? As far as the premarital sex....what should have been a sweet moment to be forever cherished by the two of you has now been destroyed by WT dictates. When you bring in other people to know all the intimate details of your life...then what do the two of you have to share that is exclusively between you? What is left to create a special bond? Your marriage becomes a committee matter...your every action, sex position, etc. is laid bare to be judged and dictated by a group of perverted old men? And it's not even a jury of peers. It seems really creepy and perverted that your wife would want to tell her sexual escapades to a bunch of old men to entertain them. Where is her dignity?

Cameo-D you are reading my mind. This is exactly what will happen and you are correct that it will not be worth it. I do not want to participate in any more meetings, field service, or assemblies, nor do I want to raise a child in that environment. No meeting with the elders is going to change that. Once you've seen the man behind the curtain there is no going back.

loosie

Why is the premaritial sex just now bothering your wife to the point that she wants to talk to some dirty old men elders about it?

I don't believe in the headship thing. I believe in the team thing. You and your wife are on the same football team. She just went over to the opposing team and gave them your team's playbook. If she continues to be disloyal to the team she may not be allowed to play on that team anymore.

I would definately let her go talk to those dirty old men herself. Nothing says that you have to meet with them. I went thru one of those meeting myself. You definenitly don't want to answer those kind of questions to those bastards.

JimmyPage

Why is the premaritial sex just now bothering your wife to the point that she wants to talk to some dirty old men elders about it?

It has bothered her for awhile, coming up from time to time. She says now that she knows how I feel about the organization she realizes I will never go to them and confess on my own. And so she feels since I won't, she must.

Bubblie

That's too bad. We can only imagine how they will treat her. Maybe, she will get brother love. Stand your ground. It's a strange thing to meet with elders about something like this, a friend of mine had to go when she came back from her fling. I would never have done it myself.

Hope4Others

It has bothered her for awhile, coming up from time to time. She says now that she knows how I feel about the organization she realizes I will never go to them and confess on my own. And so she feels since I won't, she must.
How long have you been married sorry I forgot, but if it looks like you have both had Jehovahs blessing for this extended period of time, they won't do anything to either of you anyway. It will be all for nothing to sit before some guys and they read nothing bibically yet take notes and God knows who reads the file later....
h4o

I think this camel's back is broken (the final straw)

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