spilled the beans (page 11)

bobbi: Your right she did snoop thru her room to find Guns n Roses and Def leapard albums she was forbidden to have. Her mother guilt trips her constantly and she has had bolimia because of how much her mother rags her about her weight even though she herself is a short fat butterball. My mother is bipolar with psychotic leanings. I think the JW religion pushed her over the edge. She is a full fledged Apostate and of course begged me never to get baptised but I wouldn't listen at the time. I haven't spoken to her in years and currently according to my sister that takes care of her she has been in and out of mental hospital for some time now. I feel a lot of guilt for not being there for her to help her through her dark times due to the cult pressuring me to stay away from her. She is negative and brings people down but she is my mother and I should have helped her anyway.

Sigh all of this happening during the worst possible time when I'm in a new job and trying my hardest to improve myself.

thecrushed

Ethan is Anondude2 http://www.youtube.com/user/AnonDude2

00DAD

Thanks, I've seen his vids before. An angry young man, but knows his stuff.

I would respectfully disagree with you about EH making fools of the elders. They did that themselves!!! ...

Paralipomenon

Thecrushed: (bobbi is my wife)

I tried for many, many years to drop hints, provide facts, expose hypocracy and corruption for many years with her. I was trying to convince her logically why it wasn't the truth. At some point, after reading here about some people's struggles with emotional and abusive parents, I got the book "Toxic Parents - Overcoming their hurtful legacy and reclaiming your life"

I did this, not because I thought it would get her out of the Witnesses, but because I cared about her and hated how her mother treated her. It was a massive eye opener for her. She was able to see her mother for what she was, a manipulative emotionally abusive destructive influence in her life. Shortly after that she reconnected with one of her friends that her mother didn't like on facebook who was now no longer a witness. He provided her with some information and she was ready to listen to it at that time.

Many people who are raised as a Witness believe and stay in for the sake of their parents. Either fear or not wanting to disappoint them. Your wife may be one of those people. With the organization telling you what to think on one side, and a parent telling you what to think on the other, it doesn't leave much room for independant thought.

Be supportive and try to help her deal with the destructive influences in her life. The less hold they have on her, the more room for independant thought she'll have. You also have to come to terms that after everything is said and done, she may actually be happy as a witness. Are you willing to support her remaining a witness if she's willing to support you not being one?

You may know the truth about the truth, but is it a dealbreaker for your marriage? Big questions to consider.

Bobbi

I love my Paralipomenon! He put up with years of me being a self richeous entitled little jw. Even when I knew he was right, I was unable to admit it, even to myself, because I was terrified of my mother hating me. And she had radar for me pulling away from her. She knew how to push me away and just as I was about to make a final break, she would open up her loving arms and welcome me back into her good graces.

My mother has nothing but her religion, her dogs and controlling everyone around her. It's been 5 years since I spoke to my parents. Last year she reached out and blamed her behaviour on some meds. As much as I wanted to believe she really did want me to forgive her, I knew that she was only doing it to mend the rift between us in time for a family wedding so she would look like the better person. She has since told everyone who will listen that I am holding a grudge.

The last 5 years have been the happiest in my life. We are alone with our boys. We don't have grandparents to share good times with. We don't have parents to give us encouragement when we need a shoulder to lean on. What we do have is peace. We have three boys who are happy and calm. We have a marriage that has survived alot and is only stronger for it.

Your wife may be unable to leave her mother. It is really really hard to do especially with a mother like hers and mine. Keep loving her and hopefully she is strong enough to stand on her own two feet and decide.

Bobbi

BluesBrother

Just weighing in to say how I support thecrushed and others going through these bad times. It is a bummer how the Borg makes one against another in this way. When I confided my home problems with a friend then at work, they could not understand it -

"Why not just say that you would like some time to develop other interests and ideas?" she said.... It is just not like that , I said..

That is why this board is so important because we have been through it ...Hang on in there....

thecrushed

ithe torture is almost unbarable. today i recieved an email from my wife demanding that i cut off my association with my old friend who was trying to coach me through this. she also wanted to know who i was talking tofrom indiana. it so happens ive been in phone contact with anondude2. my wife has become the thought police through and through. not only that but im getting constant calls from several different elders now wanting to know whats up. so far she has intercepted my txt messages and is monitored my calls outgoing and incoming. i added a key lock to my phone and computer but currently she has control of the bills. she is torturing me and herself to death. after i got ths email telling me its either cease and desist or else lose her and be kicked out of my own home i came home and found her once again zonked out on muscle relaxers. i dont know how much more abuse i can handle. ive done nothing to deserve this. ive only had the courage to use my powers of reason and logic. in her letter to me shekept saying that my worldly friends would never risk there neck to save me.

who here would take me in if i suddenly became destitute because of this cult? who would offer me a place to rest my head and moral and emotional support if my wife decided to kick me out? can i get some reassurance from jwn? if u want to know more just pm me and ill send u my email corespondance of her letters to me. at this point i am "thecrushed" in the most viseral sense.

thecrushed

bump out of desperation

baltar447

dude, idk I have lots of ideas, but many aren't very palpable. First of all who's the breadwinner here?

spilled the beans

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