Whew!! I've finally got some spare time!!
"Ziddina! That is excellent advice. Crafty and difficult, but very interesting. Would it not apply not just to being able to abuse the headship principle, but to gain a few points on the earning respect as a husband scale? Taking care of everything that needs to be done, taking control of the money, being in charge (in a good way), we could add to that dressing, looking, and smelling good.. Maybe even taking control of this situation in particular. Basically being an amazing husband. ..." Captain Obvious
Er, well, thanks for the compliment, but...
My plan is actually much more devious - and hopefully easier to carry out...
Let me try to organize the jumbled mass of advice I've given previously...
1. Be prepared to play a role.
I mentioned playing "spy" in the sense of having a "cover" that one must maintain that is probably quite different from the way you REALLY feel; also to think of it as if one were an actor playing the role of his/her life. People who have had the blinding awakening as to the true nature of the Watchtower Corporation are prone to jump right in, telling their spouse/parents/children ALL about how they've been conned, lied to, and that they really AREN'T going to "live forever in a paradise earth" with a "pet tiger/lion/bear/shark/bunny rabbit/elephant" in their back yard.
Naturally, for someone who's been pinning ALL of their hopes on that fantasy, they ARE going to be QUITE disappointed. And resentful. And will probably dig their heels in.
Add to that, the death threats that the Watchtower Corporation uses to keep people in line, the threat of shunning, the threats of "demunzz" attacks, the threats of becoming "apostate/evil/warped/mentally diseased", and one can see how the initial reaction TO A FULL-ON FRONTAL ASSAULT would be resistance. Which brings me to...
2. NEVER launch a full-on frontal assault on their faith/the Watchtower Corporation.
No, one must MUST use subtlety, tact, opportune timing, and a bit - or more - deviousness.
Don't mention evolution, Watchtower's past failed "end times" dates, numerous contradictions within the Watchtower's publications OR those within the bible, pedophile issues - unless that is the reason you are contemplating an exit, and so on, AT THIS INITIAL POINT IN TIME. There will be PLENTY of time for that, later on. [With the possible exception of the pedophile issue - if one's child has been molested, then a prompt exit might be the best course, despite the 'fallout'...]
Which brings me to....
3. If you have PREMATURELY exposed your "apostate" leanings, all is NOT lost.
You can backtrack, you can claim illness/depression, you can claim that you ran into someone at work/your mailman/your milkman/your neighbor who ASKED about the item that you've inappropriately allowed to pop out of your mouth [evolution, the trinity, other Christian religions, other religions of the world], you can make up B.S. to cover your arse if you've revealed too much in the beginning of this process.
4. Use the Watchtower's manipulation and head-games AGAINST them.
All right, you've woken up - realized that the Watchtower Corporation isn't true Christianity or that the bible itself isn't actually the "Word of God", but is instead the works of a group of nomadic Bronze-Age Middle-Eastern males...
Your first instinct may be to rush out of the KH/cult so fast that you break the sound barrier. But calm down, Flash/Speedy Gonzales, in your rush to get the hell outta Dodge, you may be missing a golden opportunity. [That is, if there's still a wife/children/parents/girlfriend/boyfriend to get out, too...]
Now that you've "awakened", you can look at the meetings, the pressure to put in "field service", the corporate-approved elders' hierarchy AND the social hierarchy within the hall, in whole new ways. You might even spot a number of manipulation methods or other revelations that you would never see, if you just rushed out the door and never looked back.
(Like I did. I had NO family in - well, none that I was concerned about. I just walked away - and didn't know ANYthing about the parking lot scandals, I had NEVER paid attention to the elite "elders" club while I was still "in", had NEVER paid attention to the "elderettes" while I was still "in", and so on. In other words, I missed a LOT, even though I was attending, because I left rather quickly after "awakening". I would have had more opportunities to OBSERVE such things, if I'd been forced to spend more time in, to assist someone else in 'exiting'...)
And while you're OBSERVING, you can spot ways to USE their manipulation AGAINST THEM.
Irregular in service? Well, the Watchtower Corporation always tries to make the Rank&File feel "inferior". Use THAT as an excuse to avoid field service or increasing responsibility within the congregation. Don't want to attend a convention? Use the excuse of providing properly for your family - and don't be shy about mis-quoting scriptures to back up your decisions: "let he who will not work, neither let him eat"... Hey, THEY cherry-pick scriptures and mis-apply AND re-translate them all the time; therefore, SO CAN YOU. Just don't make your 'version' too obvious - follow it with that same, smug, "I-know-the-scriptures-better-than-"REAL"-bible-scholars" attitude that the Watchtower itself displays, and smile... Real wide... I think you get the idea.
I suspect that EVERY method used to manipulate the Rank&File into doing "MORE MORE MORE", can be flipped on its head and turned right back around upon the Watchtower's Corporate Masters... Since you'll have to attend meetings for a while to get loved ones out, anyway, then use those as opportunities to spot those means of manipulation and how they can be turned right back around, and used to bite the Watchtower Corporation in their arses.
More about this under #8, "Playing the Headship Card"...
5. You will have to develop a "place of peace" within your mind, accept that you're going to have to bite your tongue, compromise, swallow your words, for a while.
Look, I know that most of the people who've just had this epiphany are somewhat fragile. At the same time, there's often an overwhelming sense of anger at having been lied to, an extreme disappointment that the fables they've been told are merely means to control them, feelings of bitter betrayal at the unloving and sometimes dangerous actions of the Watchtower Corporation, its overseers and elders...
So, one must reach the point of mental peace wherein they can accept that they're going to have to continue behaving "normally" around something that is now causing them great pain or deep discomfort. At least, for a while... And my intent is to cut that time down, as much as possible. Which brings up...
6. Improve your health in preparation for the work ahead.
Since this sort of emotional stress can be VERY difficult, I strongly recommend eating a VERY healthy diet, regular exercise, nutritional supplements if you believe in that sort of nutritional assistance - in other words, you ARE training "for a fight" of sorts.
If you can manage it, cut back on alcohol consumption, sweets, junk food. [You'll notice I didn't say to cut them out COMPLETELY. Just reduce the amounts you consume...] These items don't usually improve one's mood [in the long run] nor do they sharpen your mind. Think of it as a mild weight-loss program that is going to strengthen you towards getting your wife/children out of the cult.
7. Develop a hearty sense of humor.
Let's face it, the Watchtower Corporation takes itself WAAAAAY too seriously. There's little humor in the organization; humor means that you're more relaxed and in a mental frame to step back and take things a little less seriously.
Which a doomsday cult will try to prevent, at all costs.
Remember, they WANT you to remain uptight, frightened, feeling that sense of "urgency", because that makes you - and your loved ones - easier to control.
So, developing a solid sense of humor will be a strong ally in keeping your sense of balance in the coming months/years, and will help keep your loved ones from getting too serious about the changes that you're subtly slipping into their path. I also recommend reading ALL the humorous literature you can get your hands on, watch comics, funny shows - all to develop that strong sense of humor.
'Cause you're gonna need it... Using humor can help deflect those angry, upset, scared reactions that you might otherwise get from the frightened 'still-stuck-in-it-mentally' cult member[s].
8. Playing the 'headship' card - section A - rattling their brains.
I'm not going to mince words; the fact that this religion is quite misogynistic - based on a Middle-Eastern male mentality - means that, if you're male, you do have certain options that aren't available to awakened female members of the cult.
So, having said that, let's look at the excellent opportunities that the Watchtower Corporation's misogynistic attitudes can give you...
If you've already opened up about your doubts/misgivings and your wife is eyeing you with suspicion/fear, then backtrack fast! Get back to the point [without becoming an elder or ministerial servant again] where you would be considered the "spiritual" family head.
And one of the VERY BEST WAYS to do that, is the "Family Bible Study Night", using the BIBLE and ONLY the bible.
For those of you who still believe in "Jehovah" or a "god", did you know that some religious surveys indicate that reading JUST the bible was the definitive factor in getting people to LEAVE the Jehovah's Witnesses??
Having said THAT, it would only make sense to use another type of bible in the "Family Bible Study Night". Recently the Watchtower has quoted other bibles in their literature - sorry I can't quote exactly WHERE - I'll leave that to the bible scholars on-board - but when you see the Watchtower Corporation using OTHER bibles, JUMP ON THAT as a reason to use a bible OTHER than the New World Translation in your "Family Bible Study Night".
For those of you who have realized that you don't want to follow the teachings of Bronze-Age Middle-Eastern nomadic males, or have found that evolution explains the fossil record better than the book of Genesis, or that the rock record contains no "Great Flood" layer of sedimentary rock, I want to say that USING THE BIBLE CAN WORK FOR YOU, TOO.
But YOU would want to focus on - well, the unscientific aspects of the book of Genesis, for a start. Heck, within the first 20 verses of the very first chapter of the book of Genesis, there are three glaringly unscientific errors that might open someone's eyes. And then there's the story of Lot and his wife and two daughters... Abraham and his willingness to commit child sacrifice... Moses and his sculpting of a bronze serpent for the Israelites to worship - WITH "god's" approval - which is odd, considering that a few chapters away, "god" was almighty pissed about the whole "worship a golden calf" thing. In addition, there's the book referenced below, which lists many examples of the places where the bible contradicts itself - and there's a hilarious YouTube video on the subject, too...
If someone could please post a link to "The Atheist's Book of Bible Stories", I'd appreciate it! Thanks in advance!
8. Playing the 'headship' card - section B - making them thoroughly sick of "Jehovah's Theocratic Arrangements".
Hee hee hee!! [slaps self....] Anyway, here are some ideas - and I think that others have used some of these tactics to good effect, too.
Once you have regained that position as the [apparent] "spiritual" family head, you'll want to "kill" them with "kindness" - THEOCRATIC kindness, that is.
[And THIS section is why the previous advice about playing a role, getting into physical shape and developing a sense of humor are so fitting!!]
Keep in mind that you DON'T HAVE TO BE SUPER-HUBBY OR SUPER-DADDY to pull this off. Get THAT right out of your head.
However, you WILL want to take control of the family using the "spiritual" family head excuse. And using that line, get your wife to do MORE MORE MORE - I earlier suggested that you push her out into service, but that won't work if she's already pioneering. In THAT case, get her involved in things that will eat up her time and make it MORE DIFFICULT for her to pioneer - like helping you with the yard work,because an "untidy home reflects badly on Jehovah". Like making her own clothes and those of the children, because "laziness reflects badly on Jehovah". Like cooking all the meals from scratch, because using commercially-prepared foods, shortcuts, and mixes "reflects badly on Jehovah".
This next part reminds me a bit of training a dog - using reward/punishment as motivation... If you DON'T have a pioneering wife - especially if she isn't particularly fond of going out in service, then drag her out in service. Pray before EVERY meal, and INSIST on reading the "daily scripture" - but FROM THE BIBLE and read its context, too. Be an "uber- spiritual" family head - and use that to BLOCK anything that she enjoys.
Now, here's the fun part...
Be "uber-spiritual" for 3 - 4 - 6 months, until she's thoroughly sick of it, THEN "slack off" for 3 - 4 - 6 months - AND REPEAT .
You want to get the message across - TOTALLY NON-VERBALLY - that when you are a "Theocratic Jehovah's Witness", then life is HARD for her.
And when you are NOT "theocratic", then life becomes EASIER for her.
Repeat THAT for a few cycles - a year or two - and she'll get the message SUB-consciously, which will work to undermine her determined devotion to the Watchtower Corporation and its doomsday-setting manipulations...!!
9. Getting them to think.
This can be very tricky. The Watchtower Corporation has armed its members against independent thinking, researching the International Bible Students/Watchtower Society's history, getting a higher education, doing research on the internet - OR in libraries, BUT...
From OTHER posters with heads far wiser than mine, I'd like to pass along what THEY'VE generally mentioned as effective.
NEVER make absolute statements. Ask QUESTIONS INSTEAD. Comments like, "The Watchtower was a member of the United Nations!" is NEVER as effective as pulling out one of the older magazines or books and asking, "Why did the Watchtower Corporation print these articles that are so POSITIVE in tone about the United Nations?"
This is another area in which you will be much more effective if you're "playing the role" and attending meetings. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN for problematic teachings - that recent Watchtower which, in effect, advised battered women to STAY with their abusive spouses was a DOOZY - and a great example. USE THESE IDIOCIES AGAINST THE WATCHTOWER CORPORATION every chance you get - but again, NO FULL FRONTAL ASSAULTS!!! Ask QUESTIONS or postulate hypothetical situations, instead...
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A few points I want to reiterate...
(a) You don't have to be perfect. You're just fine the way you are, you don't have to be "Super-Hubby" or "Super-Daddy" to pull this off...
(b) You've actually got all the time that you'll need, to accomplish this. "Armageddon" ISN'T coming, their time schedules are total fabrication, and these facts work in YOUR favor.
(c) DO NOT ATTACK DIRECTLY. You must SNEAK UP ON THEIR BRAINS!!!
Best results to you...
Zid