Thank you for your kind response, Tec.
//But believing that God to be the God and Father of Christ... that is from the truth I heard from Christ, as stated above. I loved Him for these, and followed Him. Now, I hear Him... His voice, speaking. So I can hear the truth FROM Him. So I can KNOW Him, and not just 'guess' or hope that He exists. I know He exists, and I put faith IN Him.//
As you know, there is no way I can dispute your experience, nor do I wish to question it.
I do believe that you have felt these experiences, and that they have a profound influence on your life.
I'm not sure I even want to argue any further, as I wish to respect your feelings.
Maybe I can refer to my own journey to explain my conversion to atheism.
In doing so, I am honoring your own journey — while sharing mine.
At first, my issue was not the existence of God, but his character. I swam in my cognitive dissonance for decades, grasping at anything that would confirm my bias for Him. But the evidence grew thin.
I studied in depth — ironically rationalizing the Biblical statement that God is Love. I went to concordances to understand Hebrew and Greek semantics… oh I really worked hard. But the more I read my Bible, the more YHWH became a monster to me. Later, even the Son, Jesus, condoned and even lauded the Mosaic Law, which is a horrid mountain of about 600 laws, more cruel one than the other. It was no surprise that Jesus warned in Mathew 10: 34-39 that he did not come to bring peace, but a sword. Also that anyone who loves their father or mother more than Him was not worthy of Him; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than Him is not worthy of Him… not the most concern for family unity. Not to mention the Church that followed his War cry literally, through crusades and Inquisition…
Still, I found Jesus relatively harmless compared to the Father, YHWH.
Jehovah boasts jealousy, vengeance, genocide, and leglistated slavery, and other niceties.
He never used his almighty power with love — as illustrated for example in the Flood story. He is said to have the power to do anything he wanted — yet, he destroyed whole families; women (pregnant and not) and children, to the horrors of slow drowning, while if he was love, he could have just made them drop dead painlessly and/or disintegrate (I won't even try to talk about the logic fallacies this whole tale)!
There is this sick idea of vengeance He has — as if torturing his "enemies" could serve them a lesson. There is no lesson to be learned if dead or in Hell!
Did I really think the God who dislikes abortion was consistent when He ordered his armies to kill "by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open???" (Hosea 13:16)
Nooo...
I haven't even scratched the surface here… but I gather you will understand my point.
I concluded that Jesus is a smooth talker, and that some people are easily swooned by him. Of course, I say this because I also believe this is a delusion derived from our brains in need of bliss at all cost, and confirmation bias.
This is why so many of us have a hard time with the God idea. That humanity is conned (often by self) into believing the particular god of their culture, or preferred folklore. It seems so convenient…
This is also why I encourage to learn other religions. Other have the same experience than you but with other gods. My personal quest is truth. Not MY Truth, but THE Truth...
I will conclude with a quote from my favorite writer, Bertrand Russell:
"There can’t be a practical reason for believing what isn’t true. That’s quite... at least, I rule it out as impossible.
Either the thing is true, or it isn’t. If it is true, you should believe it, and if it isn’t, you shouldn’t. And if you can’t find out whether it’s true or whether it isn’t, you should suspend judgment.
But you can’t... it seems to me a fundamental dishonesty and a fundamental treachery to intellectual integrity to hold a belief because you think it’s useful, and not because you think it’s true."
Peace. :)