If You Could Write Articles For The Watchtower What Would The Titles Be?

by minimus 106 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu
    The Elders in the local congregations, and most importantly the Faithful and Discreet Slave Class, of whom the Master upon arriving has found them to be worthy of carrying His Grand message of hope for mankind's future.-Matt 23:45.
    Thank you Jehovah, and blessed be your Faithful and Discreet Slave Class, who are indeed giving us our food at the proper time".-Matt 23:45
    4) It is quite obvious to discern that when these natives chop off their penises, the appendages seem to flop around on the ground, similar to a fish flopping around on a boat after just being removed from the water- Matt 23:45.
    it WOULD NOT be a conscience matter, and the individual that persisted in such a sinful course would be subject to disfellowshipping.-Matt 23:45
    Surely, a penis flopping around like a "fish outta water" is not what our Great Master was referring to when he exhorted His first century followers to become "Fishers of Men".-Matt 23:45
    Unless you live in an area where it is required of you. Then it would be up to your conscience.-Matt 23:45.

    Matt 23:45 must be a real meaty scripture. Lotsa spiritual food in that one.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    Was Jesus A Muslim ?

    Is God a Woman ?

    Is Marilyn Manson a Descendant of Satan ?

    Why 1975 Was Such An Important Year !

    Libraries.....Do We Need Them ?

    Swinging....Is It A Practice for Modern Day Christians ?

    How To Spot An Apostate

    Give Till It Hurts

    Was Jesus Circumcised ?

    Do You Respect The Ancients ?

    Millions Now Living Will Never Die !

  • mustang
    mustang

    Short news item in the Awake: "Holy Spirit Leaves Town".

    Reserved for the WT: "We Quit, signed The Faithful and Discreet Slave".

    Mustang

  • Adam
    Adam

    Why Jehovah wants YOU to smoke crack.

    Polygamy: Jehovah's sacred arangement.

    Jehovah's bi-polar disorder: A look at the old and new testemants.

    Internet porn: How it can help the family.

  • integ
    integ

    You people are freakin' hilarious....This is the funniest thread I have ever read.

  • mustang
    mustang

    Notices in the KM:

    "Due to the short workday, Thanksgiving turkeys will be distributed on Wednesday morning."

    "Due to the reduced printing work schedule, the company Christmas Party will be held early this year. See the latest memo, to be released at the next Service Meeting."

    "New Year's Eve parties and New Year's Day booze-outs remain as scheduled. Football betting pool sheets must be filled out on or before December 31."

    Mustang

  • minimus
    minimus

    "Asking Questions---Is It Really Necessary?"-----YOU BET IT IS!

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    KM Announcement - Elders - please do not go out on the ministry the first Saturady in the month -- spend the time showing love to your brothers and sisters and go and shepherd them

  • minimus
    minimus

    stilla-----YOU SO CRAZY!!!!!

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    sorry minimus -- I blame it on all the years being a witness --it has screwed with my mind my friend

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