by gumby 195 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse
Bisous, you read the title of the thread and were warned in big letters of the possibility of being triggered, and you chose to open it and read it? I do not think he meant to hurt anyone with his question, as he explained, he watched a show on TV that raised questions in his mind and he felt most comfortable asking his peer group (us) on JWD.
Hugs,
Terri
Sunny
The warning was added later...Nobody's fault...
I was also molested as a child.........and it was extremely traumatic. It was done by a group of young boys........ I feel the way Lady Lee handled this was totally acceptable and she made very valid points............also being a survivor AND a therapist also really gives her a solid stand on the feelings, emotions, etc. involved.
Terri
Oh, okay, didn't realize that. That's why I put a question mark at the end of the sentence, tho.............sorry!
No problem Terri. It's a long thread.
Sphere, you make an excellent point.
and time moved on....and all these problems keep haunting us. Intamacy problems...Over the years I couldnt figure why My husband would literally run away from me if I lovingly gazed into his eyes, or touched him sweetly.
{{{{{LT}}}}}} I had the same problem with my ex.........he told me about an incident involving his brother abusing him..........but, "he forgave him and everything was fine".........UH>...........NO! It was one thing that destroyed my twenty year marriage to him. He had this HUGE wall surrounding him that kept me out all the time. I knew what the problem was, but he was in deep denial about it, and then, after so many years and him saying no he was okay, I began to doubt my instincts and began to wonder if there was something wrong with me, that he wasn't attracted to me sexually.........thank you for validating this for me.........this is going to lift a HUGE weight off my chest!
Terri
{{{lw}}} {{{sunnygal}}}
me, too. My ex is working through stuff, but fear of intimacy due to the CSA was the ruination of our partnership
The hard part is that I understand because I have the same issues - w/ the big wall and such.
life sucks ... oh, well
(pretends she is mother, smiles brightly and limps off, pathetically dragging her cross behind) hehe NOT!
... interesting ... survivors (imho) often choose partners who have similar pasts ... sometimes neither is 'aware' of the other's past till years later
I've always felt that there was a special bond one shared with others that have similar histories. Well, look at us all here.
It's like my ex said a couple of weeks ago "The rest of the world may not understand you, but I do."
Any thoughts?
talesin
"Survivor Klass"
As I read thru this whole thread I was overcome with grief and outrage. This is not just a JW problem (altho they add a rotten dimension) it is a societal problem.
The fact that in 2004 a T.V. program can generate a question like Gumby's is appalling. Gumby has somewhere to ask the question and get an outpouring of answers. How many thousands watched the same show and now have the same or similar question? They do not have the resource such as this forum to get answers.
The misconception then continues that the harm to the children is not that bad.
The issue is not yet marketable to make a feature length movie. The play based on the book A Father's Touch is a giant leap forward.
The only way society in general will become outraged by sexual abuse is for it to be in their face. Until then it will be discussed in polite private circles such as this.
Such a shame.
Loris
Loris I agree with what you've said this is not just a JW problem but societal, however few "societies" prohibit the proper handling of these kinds of situations within their realms like the WTS has. That IMHO is where the abused is betrayed and re-victimized, THAT HAS TO STOP!
The only way society in general will become outraged by sexual abuse is for it to be in their face. Until then it will be discussed in polite private circles such as this.
It happens one village at a time..........
Kate
We haven't even discussed a child who has never been physically molested but suffers daily verbal abuse. Same feelings, same dammage.........it all hurts!
Katie.....I agree. I saw my nephew treated so badly by his dad it broke my heart for him. He ended up commiting suicide a few years ago and was only 27. I'm surprised he made it that far. He NEVER felt loved. Verbal abuse produces MANY of the same outcomes that sexual abuse does......but I'm not sure ALL of them.....such as losing trust in others.
LW......that story about your ex was really touching. I can relate to the breaking down part you mentioned in which a man becomes like a scared little boy. I don't cry much.....but when I do, it can become uncontrollable if it concerns me losing my family imposed by dubdom. I hide it, but when it comes out......it's almost scary to go through it. I suppose that's why we repress things.......we just can't bare to face it.
You REALLY have to wonder just HOW MANY MARRIAGES are on the rocks or ruined from the type of things you mentioned.
Gumby
