My kids can be angels (especially well mannered around others) , then total demons. My oldest son is 15, daughter 9 , son7. They are all very much in personality like their dad and me, hot tempered and moody. I have heard so many tell me that 15 yr olds are hell. Well that is true to a point. I guess the changes , my son was a total mama's boy and now he is letting go and becoming a man. I think he misses being a kid, really he didnt even get to be a kid , raised jw and only left a year ago. He and I are coming to terms with our different relationship and things are settling down. I give him alot of slack because I want him to be a free spirt, yet I want to be respected. So we talk about everything, always open and out on the table. I am trying to be 100% different from the way my parents did me.
My Daughter is going thru some changes too, funny what a difference a couple of years makes in a kid. I miss her being a little girly girl. She is not into fluff anymore and wants to dress up like the the Olson twins. They are pretty good girls , and they are in style so I let her have freedom of expression in that area, with her dad's approval of course. She is the most easy going of our kids, but can be get fighting mad and in tears if she feels she is being embarrassed and made fun of. Which the 15 yr old loves to do. She is my artist and has such a great vision(artistic).
Oh my youngest............. whew........ he tires me out. He was born 2 months early and for the first 3 yrs of his life we didnt know if he would make it. The nurses told me they could tell he was a fighter. Well they were right, he came back time and again from the brink and never without a fight. He has ADDH , but it is getting better, especially since no meetings... He can be a little demon at times and then like a wise little old man other times. He is the most tender hearted child, with a deep spiritual interest. He is always wondering about others. He is so afraid of death and has nightmares. This is all due to PTSD from the years of hospitals and traumas because of his health.
They are my heart , my soul, and my dreams. I love each and everyone of them , for who they are and they each have such wonderful hearts and talent. I look forward to see what they will be like when they are grown. Sometimes, I cry because I think about missing them when they grow up and leave me. I hope that time is along way away.
I guess the way I discipline them is thru alot of communication, that is the only way to get to the root of the problem. Then I agree with make the punishment fit the crime. I think you have to take in to account the circumstances of what the child did , and why, and how they feel after it is done.
I dont ground my kids, because I know I wont stick to it. I would rather , talk it out, send them to their room, seperate them if they are fighting, no tv. or phone etc. Usually it only takes awhile and the child will come to us and admit they were wrong and say they are sorry. I think reaching their heart and making them see , really see, that you only want to help them to be the best they can be makes them feel loved. It is true they do want to have limits placed on them, and they need limits.
Sorry for rambling on......... must be the coffee........... Hugs, Dede
