LOL @ Mary
Imagine that, a family with worse table manners than yours!! LOL
Posts by Scully
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15"Hospitality"?
by NCO inhad to meet my parents not too long ago for some family business and while working out the time for that sunday, they said they had the meeting and then following the meeting they had "hospitality" for an hour or so.. now i've been out for going on 20 years and somewhat out of the loop.
needless to say i've never heard of that.
i've been to other churches where they have the sanctuary and then the fellowship hall where the members go and eat after the service.
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15
"Hospitality"?
by NCO inhad to meet my parents not too long ago for some family business and while working out the time for that sunday, they said they had the meeting and then following the meeting they had "hospitality" for an hour or so.. now i've been out for going on 20 years and somewhat out of the loop.
needless to say i've never heard of that.
i've been to other churches where they have the sanctuary and then the fellowship hall where the members go and eat after the service.
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Scully
While growing up I remember our family was asked to invite a visiting Speaker™ and his family over for lunch after the Sunday Meeting™. Without being told who it was, and anxious to accept whatever Privileges™ were offered, my dad agreed.
Turned out to be one of those families who are so frikkin' strange that nobody wanted to be around them. Their several kids were absolute animals, without any table manners at all, and the parents weren't much better. We were so accustomed to having a relaxing enjoyable meal, but this time as soon as the word "Amen" came out of my dad's mouth, it was a bloody free-for-all grab fest by the visiting kids, with the parents doing absolutely nothing to control their brats. It was a simple meal of soup with cold cuts, cheese, bread and condiments for sandwiches, but it looked like crime scene after they left.
I think that was the first and last time my folks welcomed any visiting Speakers™ or their families to come over for a meal. My mother put the skids to it after that family left. I think my parents were beyond gobsmacked by the horrid behaviour we had all witnessed.
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15
Do you get constant "digs" by JWs that still talk with you?
by skeeter1 inmy personal story: i grew up as a jw, left, went to college, and have a career.
i have a spouse, married for many moons, wonderful kids, normal house, cute dog, and newer cars.
the "american dream".
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Scully
It's simple.
She's miserable and she is trying to find a way to make you miserable or at least unhappy with your life. She's been promised her whole life that if she did what the WTS said, she wouldn't want for anything - and then she sees you and this other relative who are not JWs having material success through hard work and planning (imagine that!), and it creates emotional turmoil for her in the form of jealousy and hostility, which makes her want to have someone else to justify her feelings (you).
What seems to work for me with that kind of person is to (a) make a point of telling them how satisfied you are with life the way it is (b) make sure they know that you are super-pleased for the person you are being compared to, and (c) ask them why they seem so jealous of someone who has worked hard for everything they have and is successful in their life.
Taking the high road seems to shut them up too: "It's really not polite to 'keep score' or make these kinds of comparisons. It just makes you look petty and jealous of them, when you could be happy for them."
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JW Pedophile sentenced in my courtroom today....
by diana netherton in65 year old self-professed jw man sentenced to 20-40 years state for abusing a young neighbor boy.
over a course of three years.
he actually read scriptures to the boy after each abuse session, which.
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Scully
My question is: Is this guy still a JW In Good Standing™?
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22
Help! My brother wants to hate me.
by strymeckirules intonight i tried to contact my blood brother.
i am 32 he is 30.. he was baptised at 10 and df'd at 12, 22 and now he would have been again but he walked away.. i made no progress with our reunite.
he's hating on me for leaving the family.
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Scully
Some people can't accept responsibility for their own choices... I wonder if your brother has this trait - it seems that way to me by the way he tries to shift the blame to what happened between you and him half a lifetime ago.
People get DFd from the JWs for behaviour they chose and for being Unrepentant™ about it - blame-shifting is classic Unrepentant™ behaviour. Nobody held a gun to his head and forced him to tiger-woods his marriage. Nobody held a gun to his head and forced him to smoke tobacco or weed. Those were choices he made, of his own volition.
I find it interesting that your brother his trying to psychologically beat you up for leaving The Truth™, and for trying to share with him your own reasons for doing so. I'm guessing that he is still mentally "in" and likely still thinks he is better than you because he still believes it to be The Truth™, despite his obvious and multiple transgressions, and maybe even regards you as a filthy Apostate™.
I find it even more interesting his pushing you away when you tried to reach out to him and his blaming you for "not being there" after he told you to scram. I suspect he knew that he'd be hard pressed to find a listening ear or moral support while going through the divorce and being DFd, so he expected you to rally around him, even when he rejected your offer in the beginning. He probably didn't have anyone else to turn to from the JW side of things.
It's unfair of him to have expectations of you supporting him, talking to him, etc. while at the same time he is pushing you away, being non-responsive to your efforts at reaching out to him, and so on. Once you've come to some kind of accord, it will be important for you to get through to him that (a) you care about him (b) you do want to help him, but (c) you need for him to be clear - if he wants your help, then accept the help when it's offered - if he says he doesn't want your help, then he should not expect multiple offers, insistence or persistent harassment to force help upon him when he doesn't want it. You have a busy life yourself, and you don't want to get in his business if he doesn't want you involved, and you don't want to interfere if he's made it clear that he wants to handle his situations independently. If things change and he does feel that he would welcome your help, he'll need to approach you - again you don't want to be accused of getting in his business uninvited.
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New Field Service Policy - jw's assigned to neighborhoods
by skeeter1 ini am looking for confirmation on the following:.
jws are now being individually assigned to smaller territories, and they are told to consistently work that same territory over & over again.
the reason is that the watchtower wants the jws to build relationships with the people in that area.
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Scully
Good grief.
I've yet to meet a JW who wants to work in their own neighbourhood - they don't want their neighbours to know they are JWs!!!
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44
Having a huge disagreement over a very petty matter. HELP!!
by Magwitch inmy best friend and i have come to blows over such a petty thing.
i would love to get the input of other people on this matter.
please give me your honest answer so i know if i am out of touch.. i live in a community with mostly single profession people in their 40's and 50's.
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Scully
I wouldn't have just left a note for them to find when they got home. I would have simply replaced the part bottle with a full one (and perhaps one the next size up) of the same brand, with a gift ribbon on it and a note saying something like "Your rum saved my recipe the other night - my guest was thrilled with the Bananas Foster! Sorry for dipping into your private stock, but hope this makes up for it. Thanks again for rescuing my dinner party!"
It's basically saying the same thing - I took your rum - but replacing it with a full bottle, making it all gifty and special with a lovely thank you note before they return home might be better received than an empty spot in their cupboard/on the shelf with an IOU.
The other thing that isn't clear is whether the rum was in plain view, or whether you had to go looking for it. If any searching was involved, it probably felt a bit more invasive and intrusive than if it was in plain sight.
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"You're Stumbling Me"
by Ding inthe wts sometimes turns the "stumbling" concept into a manipulative weapon.. the biblical concept of "stumbling" is that if you know someone else has a weakness you shouldn't do something that will cause him to cave in to that weakness.
for example, if you have a friend who is trying to fight alcohol addiction you shouldn't invite him to go somewhere where everyone else will be imbibing.. i think it's perfectly legitimate for a friend to tell you that he has a drinking problem and that he'd really appreciate it if you would refrain from serving alcohol while he's over.
but i think it crosses a line if the friend tries to manipulate you into swearing off alcohol altogether because the mere thought of you drinking booze will stumble him.. but some jws try to get others to refrain from doing things "so you don't stumble me.
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Scully
Nowadays I love, love, LOVE turning that little phrase against them whenever a JW behaves badly toward me or my family.
Snub me at the grocery store? I walk right up to them and say Hello, and ask them why they'd ignore someone who was nothing but nice to them when I used to go to the KH, and say something like "It's no wonder people like me are reluctant to go back with an unloving attitude like that. You really should watch that you don't stumble anyone else."
JW family member leaves me out of a "family business" type email? I usually find out when others realize I haven't chimed in and forward the email to me. I'll fire off an email to the offender and say that I hope it was just an oversight and not deliberate unloving meanness to exclude me, because I'd be very stumbled over that.
Once I realized that far too many self-righteous JWs use that phrase to manipulate and control others in the congregation, I started turning it on them. It was great for my self-esteem to make them squirm for a change.
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Scully
Hi stuckinlimbo
I love your line of reasoning, however, wouldn't they just fall back on the idea that your celebrating the seasons venerates the pagan gods associated with the seasons? By the way, I am in Australia, so I can't really put up snowflakes and call it "welcoming the season" lol! I love lights and tinsel, which have no origin other than being associated with modern Christmas celebrations. I already have a string of icicle lights,
Is it "celebrating" springtime to pick a bouquet of flowers and put them in a vase on your table? Or is it appreciating what is beautiful about our natural habitat at different times of the year? It's all in how you think about it. Veneration implies worship, but if you are simply adding something natural, attractive and seasonally available to your decor so you can enjoy it more fully, there's no worship or pagan god involved, is there?
I guess it's summertime in Australia on December 25... so what is "seasonal" down under at that time of year? I mean, you probably still have evergreen trees/branches available to you, right?? Or you could do like some folks in Texas do and hang a string of chili pepper lights around a tropical tree... it's meant to be fun, festive and whatever you want it to be.
We have white mini lights strung around our back yard all year round so nobody can say that they are specifically "Christmas" lights. We do get snow up here in Canada (first snowfall today actually!) so we have various snowman and snowflake figurines to put around the house - and one time an Elder™ said we shouldn't do that because it gave the appearance of celebrating Christmas. I told him I'd stop if he told the kids in the congregation (including his own) that they could no longer make snowmen outside. He backed off and never brought it up again.
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How would you have handled this incident?
by garyneal inthis incident is past but reading a thread concerning someone wanting to invite her jw mom to her son's birthday party brought this memory back, how i handled the incident then, and how i would've handled it today knowing what i now know.. my wife and i had a family reunion a few years ago (at least 3, probably more) and it happened on my aunt's birthday.
my mom, being who she is, brought a birthday cake to the party and wanted to surprise her sister with it.
upon talking to my mother-in-law (a very devout jw) about it, as soon as my mom mentioned birthday she walks away.
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Scully
I can remember when I was in elementary school and the national anthem was played and sung at the beginning of every school assembly. The JW kids were all expected to sit quietly while everyone else participated. We weren't allowed to make a scene or tell everyone that what they were doing was Idol Worship™ - we just had to STFU and wait respectfully until it was over.
That same behaviour was expected in public when someone was having Happy Birthday sung to them, or when we had to sit through a Christmas assembly at school.
For whatever reason, in the past 10 years or so, I've noticed a trend among devoutly religious people (not just JWs) to demand that other people acquiesce to their sensitivities so as not to cause them offense. I think it's high time for people who want to celebrate with others on their birthdays, or other holidays - whatever their origin might be - to take back the right to tell those overly sensitive individuals to suck it up, STFU and wait respectfully until it's over.