Spare the Rod and spoil the child, How did that work for you

by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends

  • cofty
    cofty

    ShirleyW - I was using the story as a positive example of somebody who did not resort to hitting to deal with a very difficult child.

    Like MrsJones you ae evading the question -

    Why is it wrong to hit an adult with learning difficulties who may have a developmental age of two but and not wrong to hit a two year old child?

    Are you really using a bible ruke to justify it? The same bible that said its ok to beat slaves.

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    I strongly disagree. I would not keep quiet if I witnessed a parent hitting a child any more than I would if I saw a carer hitting a vulnerable adult.

    I disagree with smacking but you will not stop a parent from doing so. Many a time my hubby has had to drag me awway when I have seen a child being smacked as I have gone to smack the adult and ask if they liked it.

    In the UK if you are seen smacking your child in public you will be arrested and charged with assalt... Unfortunetly people still get away with it, especially behind closed doors.

    My hubby was smacked as a child and he said it gave him no lasting damage, but he disagrees with smacking and won't smack.

    Smacking isn't right no matter the age... I have got into arguments with people when they said you can't smack a teenager but you can smack a toddler! :S Makes no sense! Peace

  • cofty
    cofty

    I don't see anyone's mind beng changed at this point. - Mrs Jones

    Cantleave has said he has been forced to think again.

    I don't see anybody attempting to answer a very simple question.

  • jam
    jam

    Cofty, I understand what you are saying. But what if

    you have that one child (no mental problems) who just

    refuse to listen. You have three others kids, no problems.

    But this one will try you at every opportunity. I do not agree

    with beating A child, that,s wrong. And in the past few years

    too many parents are giving thier kids medicine to slow them

    down, when they are just being kids. The problem is spanking

    vs beating.

  • cofty
    cofty

    watersprout - the culture is changing in the UK. When I was young it was common to see a parent hit a child in public, now that never happens. I would definitely step in if I saw it.

    Its like drunk driving and homophobia - it still exists but its no longer socially acceptable. It would seem its still a virtue in the "bible belt".

  • ShirleyW
    ShirleyW

    Needless to say Jonesy nobody's mind will be changed.

    But to answer Cofty to hit a person with learning disabilities does seem a bit severe to me, I agree with you on that one. But to hit a two year old, I don't agree with you on that one. I say tear their little butts up, Okay, I'm out.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    If you train your children how to behave in public the need for smacking is nil. I have never had to smack any of my children in any public setting. More often than not my children have been complimented on how well they behave.

    Oh I forgot to mention that my oldest has ADD (we did not medicate him) and my youngest has Autism (he is also unmediated). We feel that medicating our children was a path we didn't want to go down. So far it has worked for us.

  • cofty
    cofty

    jam - the key to discipline is to be consistent. Never bluff, never make idle threats. There are all sorts of ways to reward and sanction childen, parents know their own best. But if you say dont do it and the child ignores you even in trivial things you must deal with it. Often parents ignore disobedience because its easier in the short term and a pattern develops. Many parents give far too many instructions to a child anyway and expect them to behave like mini-adults.

    Parents I see rarely sound like they mean it when they tell a child what to do or not do. 99% of the time a loving parent who has the respect of their child only need a look or a tone of voice.

    If a child had ADHD or other developmental issues its going to be very difficult but hitting/slapping is never the solution. Its a lazy cop-out of intelligent parenting at best.

    You are right about the number of parents resorting to medication, its worrying.

  • cofty
    cofty
    But to answer Cofty to hit a person with learning disabilities does seem a bit severe to me, I agree with you on that one. But to hit a two year old, I don't agree with you on that one. I say tear their little butts up, - shirleyW

    But clearly you can't even begin to justify this distasteful and arbitrary position. Please tell me you don't have children.

    Needless to say Jonesy nobody's mind will be changed.

    If you are not prepared to discuss reasons then that is obviously true in your case. One poster has already said he has been given cause to rethink his position as a result of this thread.

  • watersprout
    watersprout

    At lot of the kids suffering with ADHD can be helped by changing their diet... I have seen it first hand, it's all the E-numbers in the food they are eating... Tends to affect very sensitive children.

    Parents I see rarely sound like they mean it when they tell a child what to do or not do.

    I have noticed this aswel, some parent's just seem half hearted like they can't be bothered.

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