by jam 210 Replies latest jw friends
Cofty I respect your your opinion on the matter, especially to those who suffer so
that's all I can say
No form of disipline should be administered at a level
that causes a person to have to deal wit negative affects
for years to come
Disipline administered wrong is abuse, that can kill who that child intended to grow up to be
Not everyone can survive such
.
Hitting is the easy way out for the lazy, brainless parent. Meaningful discipline requires thought, effort and patience, which, unfortunately, many parents lack.
Like I said before I was truly bless to have my mom
My dad was to self absorbed to care what we did
No, she did not spare the rod, but her children had the
choice to avoid it
If she told us not to do somethin' she also gave us the reason why we should not do it
and what would happen if we did . when does the rod becomes abusive ???
when it cannot be avoided, no matter what you do
sadly that is the case wit many abused children, that's jus my opinion
not one I'm tryin' to force down anyone's throat
was my mom lazy and brainless ? , I beg to differ
.
I was spanked as a child, usually with some sort of object such as a slipper or folded belt. Each time I got the impression that my father (who did this) didn't enjoy it one bit, which made the experience slightly more bearable. At the time I felt that I genuinely deserved the punishment however extreme, and that it was in no way gratuitous. My father made me feel like he was left with no alternative. I can't say I honestly felt abused as a child before reading this thread, and I'm still rather tentative about viewing it all too negatively. I think parents need to be firm with their children, and this was obviously my father's way of being firm. It's not like I was beaten black and blue, or anything like that. I will say this though - this thread has certainly made me think twice about how I discipline my own children in the future, assuming I have any. I agree that it's always best to discipline children without resorting to any kind of violence, although I would appreciate some assurance that these non-violent strategies work in all instances.
Cedars
Cofty, thank you love for your belated opinion. I'm no spring chicken with parenting, been doing it since 1994. I've vaginial birthed four babies and I know I've got it down now. But thanks anyway.
American Indians thought Europeans were strange because they hit their children.
http://www.history.org/almanack/life/family/first.cfm
Here's somthing you might find interesting:
The History of Spanking:
Mrs. Jones has certainly got the parenting skills down as does the Mr. They and their kids are a wonderful family and so enjoyable to be with. Mrs. F.
MrsJones I asked why its ok to hit a child but not an adult with learning difficulties? You ignored my question and posted a patronising reply instead.
Duly noted.
By the way how you gave birth to your children is of no interest to me but thanks for sharing.
I have a brother who was in a drowning accident when he was five. He was mentally and physicially damaged. He cannot coherently speak nor can he walk. He lost the use of his left hand in a hospital mistake. He's now 42 and his name is David. I have never hit him nor do I think anyone else has or there would be hell to pay from my parents and us siblings. Now I know when you asked your question you had no idea about my personal link to a person who is disabled and I know your question was to put me off and possibly shame me. Wrong and you assume too much.
Thank you Mrs. F
One time after meeting, my brother, sister, and I went outside the hall and were messing around. My brother called me a name- can't remember what- and I swung around towards him. Unfortunately, I was also holding my meeting bag, smacked him across the face, and gave him a bloody nose. He was probably about 6, so I was 8 or 9. He went running in to tell on me and I got the "Just wait til we get home!" spiel.
We get home and I have no chance to say that it was an accident, I didn't mean to hit him. My parents ask, "Do you think you deserve a spanking?" Total mind-f@ck. I really grudgingly say yes, because I'd probably get a worse spanking if I said no. I asked if I could go to the bathroom first, which they reluctantly allowed. I was so scared of getting spanked, I couldn't go at first. I could hear my mom say, "She's just trying to avoid getting spanked" and finally my bladder let go. It was pretty full, so I was actually kind of happy, like my bladder was saying, "Up yours!"
My dad used a piece of 2x4 on my ass. My bare ass. At that age, I was getting pretty sensitive about being seen naked, so it was humiliating. I had to bend over my bed and stay there. My sister brought it up a couple of months ago- "Remember when Dad took a chunk of board to you!"
@MrsJones - My question is not to shame you at all, why are you assuming bad faith?
It is the position I have held for a long time regarding corporeal punishment. If its not ok to hit an adult to punish them why is it ok to hit a child?
You agree you would never stand for anybody hitting your brother for any reason and I agree. Even if an adult puts themsleves in danger we would physically restrain them for a moment but would never hit them to teach them a lesson even if we have extreme difficulty communicating with them.
I am at a loss to understand why we think children have less rights.
Just to be clear I spanked my chidren a few times but never in anger. I was conditioned by my parents and by the bible to think it was the right thing to do. I am ashamed of it now.
I am genuinely intersted in hearing anybody defend it apart from the usual "it never did me any harm" anecdote. I would argue if it conditioned you to think it was acceptable to hit your children then it did do you harm.
